Mind your tiller or meet the rocks

You can control your boat, but you can't control the river. You may be a able to influence other boats on the river, but if you try to force another boat to do what you want you may both end up getting swamped.

The power of the indirect effort says, we cannot change the river; we can only change ourselves. But, the moment we plot a course, we gain control of the river.

You can't rise above the river, but you can use its currents to your advantage. Have you ever noticed that violence begets violence? In martial arts were taught to use the energy of the attacker to defeat the attack.

If someone criticizes you, do you fight back? Is better to evaluate the criticism and apply a course correction where it helps you guide your boat. If your boat is fine, don't fix what isn't broken. Most criticism will be well intended, but it probably won't be helpful. So forget about what people think and set your own course.

There's a flipside of that of course. You can shout at the other boats on the river, but unless they want your advice they will ignore you. Don't offer advice unless you are asked for it and even then, be careful.

We get what we want from the river, indirectly. It's called leadership. Set a good example, understand where you want to go and people who believe in you will follow. Just remember, the course you set will depend on the course set by others you admire. If an experienced water man successfully negotiates the rapids, you'd be wise to follow the course already set.

Unconditional love, can be the most important thing in our lives. That doesn't mean we'll give an alcoholic drink just because he wants it. It does mean, we will offer our support for his efforts to control his boat on the river. When people begin to trust the river and their own skills to master it, they may look for the roughest white-water they can find and enjoy the thrill of being able to master the torrents. Just be sure you don't underestimate the river or over estimate your skills. When a kayaker gets flipped, the most important skill he has is the ability to right himself. Consider failure a learning experience, know how to recover then make sure you are ready for the river's next challenge.

Stop worrying about things you can't control on the river. The river is not meant to be controlled; it's meant to be ridden. So sit back, and enjoy your ride.