What Happens When Rewards Are Perceived As Punishments...

I remember my second visit to Bosnia. It was in the winter of 1997. Unlike Hillary, I don't remember sniper fire and I will not "miss-speak," or in this case "miss-write" my recollections. I do remember learning that when people are rewarded with what they perceive as a punishment, you can expect to be bit in your proverbial "arss-in-all."

First a little background. I am no soldier or hero. I simply volunteered to participate in the Department of Defense's Overseas Show program. This is a little publicized branch of the military that simply seeks to provide some basic and inexpensive back home entertainment for troops who live outside of the country. Unlike the USO, volunteers live, travel, sleep, and eat with the soldiers. I went on four tours, and each time I realized that the comedy shows we did were not nearly as important as our simply bringing new faces to lonely, isolated, and hardworking camps. Amazingly, these soldiers always treated us like heroes.

Bosnia in the winter of 1997 was the worst of our tours, and the most profound. Worst because Bosnia in winter is a very cold place, particularly when you are asked to sleep in a "tent city" where every space heater has to be shut off before people go to sleep. Space heaters in tents are considered a fire hazard. We were snowed in at one camp for three days, and we did a show every night. Our improvisational comedy was particularly appreciated because we kept incorporating the water dripping through the leaky roof of our "stage." Each night, I lived through the most uncomfortable "rests" of my life, asking myself to sleep but being too cold to relax and too warm to die. I remember thinking that hell was not full of fire, but full of a painful cold that would never end. I only suffered through three nights of this torture; the soldiers around me were looking at six months. I remember how in the next camp, we were assigned rooms in a once condemned but recently reclaimed building. We danced through the decaying plaster as if we had found a warm haven in heaven.

One night, after a show, one of the soldiers made a comment that I will never forget. He said, "You have to be careful about doing a good job around here, or they will stick you with another year's tour."

So what does my story have to do with you?

Too often leaders reward people's work with an expectation of more work without more reward. Even worse, we often punish the very actions we should be rewarding. During a lecture on rewards and punishments, I once had a student raise his hand to say, "That's so true. Whenever I help out at home, I just get asked to do more. The more I help, the more I get asked to do. It's gotten so I don't volunteer for anything. The other day, my aunt's gardener got sick and couldn't make his weekly visit, so I decided to help out with the lawn. I spent all weekend cleaning and mowing. Do you know how my aunt rewarded me? She fired the gardener, and made the yard my responsibility."

Don't punish people who are doing well by expecting even more. Whenever we ask for help, get help, and instantly expect more help, we punish the very actions that we want repeated. The bottom line of this article is simply this...if you don't like what people have been giving you; you should examine what you might have been inadvertently rewarding...