I don't know how it's going to happen. But what I need to figure out is how to stay in L.A. I have a wedding to go to in August, in Hawaii. I'm from Hawaii; I'm attending my brother's wedding. Sounds amazing right? But before I leave, I need to make at the very least two thousand dollars to insure my staying in LA. Sounds easy enough...
However, with only an Arts Associates degree, I've been stuck working at Blockbuster, spending eight hours of my time for only eight fifty per hour--student loans ringing in my ears.
I don't know why I am writing this...
I am just a little paranoid that I won't be able to make enough to support myself and stay in L.A. If I don't find way to support myself, I will be stuck in Hawai`i. I know what you're going to say. "You will be STUCK in Hawaii? I wish that I could be stuck in Hawaii!" Don't get me wrong, Hawaii is my home, and I love it. However, Hawaii can't help me accomplish my dreams...
Okay...So I guess I don't really have a question to ask. If I did, my question would be, how to be independent in life. Yet, I already have the answer, a very blunt "Shut up! And do what you gotta do! Everyone has to go through trials; it's called growing up..." That voice comes into the back of my mind when I start getting paranoid and worried about how to accomplish my dreams...
Then I watch a movie about living life rather than pursuing a career, and I wonder, "Is the career I am chasing really worth it when I know that I have Hawaii anytime I want; I can grow old, fat and happy? I don't know. I turned twenty and the questions to life, I so want answered now, seem to be taking forever...
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2 comments:
Hey Niki,
You say that you don't really have a question, yet you seem to be full of unanswered questions.
Living an independent life is not answered with a simple "Shut up and do what you've gotta do." You can't do that unless you know what to do.
Do you know "what you have" to do, and have you done it? Or do you feel overwhelmed by all your choices?
Until you define the problem correctly, you can't improve the circumstances...you will simply escape into more problems.
In the meantime, remember that a problem is only a problem if you can do something about it. Everything else is a fact of life.
As William James wrote, "Wisdom is the art of knowing What to overlook." Whenever you focus your thoughts on the elements of life that you can't control, you empower those thoughts and deplete your energy.
The actions that you chose to take now, are your only guarantees for the future...
Nik: This is a follow up to our telephone conversation.
The best way to decide if you are on the right track is to take
a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle and put what you
like on one side and what you don't like on the other.
In my case, I want to convey a message that helps people
understand their environment and their relationships to other
people.
I like to be outside. I love photography and find videography
very rewarding because it helps me convey my message. I'm a
water person. I cannot live more than a days drive from the
ocean.
What I don't like is boring work with no opportunity to be
creative. I don't like detail. I'd be a poor accountant. I like
getting to know people, but I don't care for sales unless it is
a product I really believe in.
Expand your horizons. Renting DVDs is not contributing to your
future. It pays the bills and may give you some business
experience, but it is not a job you want for more than a year.
You want to be an actor. You have to have a job with flex time
so you can audition. You should pursue opportunities to
establish industry contacts and learn more about script writing
and production. Get involved in indie films. Learn to edit. Your
local community television station has great training programs.
Trying to get acting jobs is extremely competitive and you have
to set your self appart from the herd. You have to be able to
handle a lot of rejection.
The bottom line for acting, it is a lousy way to make a living.
Very few have a gig that will provide residuals enough for a
decent living. You may get lucky.
You are a good actor. Uncle Don, was just starting to break
through in his early 40s. In his 20s & 30s, he scraped by on
summer stock and a variety of short term gigs.
All any of us can do is the very best we can every day. Then
make sure what you do moves you in the right direction.
It is called reading the River of life. Take time to read your
river and make sure you catch the right wave.
Bill
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