A touchy subject.

What would you want done to save/extend your life it you were to end up in a situation where you were unable to talk or speak for yourself? Would you want to be resuscitated? Would you want a machine to breathe or pump blood for you? Would you want liquefied food forced into your stomach by a tube down your throat? Would you want a stranger's blood put into your veins? We all know this is a touchy subject, but it is one that must be discussed. Yes, it's a difficult conversation to have, but such an important one. My grandmother is in a skilled nursing facility. Her little 68 lb body is failing her. Her vitals are good one day and terrible the next. I get phone calls on a daily basis from doctors and nurses updating me on her status. And the questions are rolling in one by one....should they do a blood transfusion, hook up oxygen, etc. etc. My grandparents were wise and prepared Advance Care Directives....yes, it was a blessing they did this. We know what their wishes are and how to carry them out. But there are details that need to be sorted out regardless. Do not resuscitate...that is a specific request. But what about oxygen? Blood transfusion? Feeding tube? They are difficult decisions to be made, it has not been easy at all. On the one hand, she is feisty...a fighter. But on the other hand, she is frail, 98 years old and has lost her will to live. I have the peace of mind knowing my husband and I have had these discussions...there isn't much doubt to what either of us would want if we were in this situation. My dear Auntie who passed away in June had discussed not wanting life support at dinner the night she ended up in the hospital unconscious. What a comfort for her family to decide what to do when given the difficult decision to make about whether or not to keep her on life support. It's almost as if she knew something might be happening to her. Eerie, but a blessing in disguise. I suppose this is similar to the debate of when life begins, as far as being for or against abortion. What constitutes as life support? We all need oxygen, nutrients, water...but what about pain relief? My main concern is that my grandmother is not in pain. She tells us she is not (when she is coherent). That brings me peace. For myself, I would want to go when it's my time, without machines and tubes, but in comfort and peace. And yes, I need to put this all in writing (like here on my blog) and I have expressed these wishes. My advice to my friends is to discuss this....death is a part of life, it's inevitable. But shouldn't we be able to direct those we love in a way to fulfill our last wishes? Like pre-planning a funeral, or at least discussing with someone what you want done with your body/remains.And it is best to have it put in writing so those we leave behind are not in doubt.  Maybe the years of working in the funeral industry has "hardened" me off on the subject of death and dying, but it's easier to enjoy life and living knowing your wishes are known and will be carried out. And knowing it will be easier for the ones we leave behind to cope and recover from the loss of someone they loved. And that is my wish for all who read, my friends, family and even strangers who take the time to read my thoughts...discuss your wishes :)