Noah’s Ark can teach us some things about weathering the current financial turmoil.
Noah had to plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. Yes, we know it'll be raining in 2009. Pouring hard. But the real storm is within you. So is your ark. Noah had to plan ahead. So do you. You cannot worry about the money you have already lost. Plan ahead, budget, save. Cut expenses. Build your ark. It's never too late. The river doesn’t stop flowing just because your in trouble.
Don't listen to critics, just get on with what needs to be done Only one in three Americans were building their retirement ark before the credit crunch. Most have less than $15,000 savings. Most ignored the coming flood, laughing at ark-builders for wasting their money. Don't listen, do what's right.
Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs, the Titanic by pros. The Pros: Wall Street, Corporate America, Washington, Cable anchors, White House, Congress, SEC, the Fed. They are the best and the brightest marketing gurus, but they lost billions. Listen to their happy talk ... and you'll sink in the flood. You know what's best for you. Trust your inner voice. You cannot trust anyone but your self. If you are going to invest in the market understand how to take advantage of trends and market indicators. If you don’t know what you are doing, put your money under the mattress.
Two heads are better than one. Remember, "they boarded in twos." You're not alone. Find a mentor. My marketing mentor told me a year before the market went bust that we where entering a bear cycle. He spotted the market break in October and told me to short into rallies. Those who followed his advice made a lot of money while others lost everything. Buy and hold is not good advice. It makes no sense to hold in a down market.
Most people don’t captain their financial boat. They just follow a captain who doesn’t care what happens to them. For those who held, it will take the better part of 10 years to get back to where they were in October. My mentor doesn’t tell me what to buy and sell. He tells me why he thinks a particular transaction has potential. The responsibility for setting my course is mine.
Think long-term, if you’ve built a good ark you will survive the rapids
Build your future on a solid boat. Set goals, figure out what you have to do to reach your goals. Many people are of course and scared to death. The are frozen by fear. Successful people start now and build for the future. Savings and education can help you set your course, but don’t wait for better times. Take advantage of today’s opportunities Today's recession is a great time to rethink your goals. Just do it.
Don't miss the boat, the a good ark will keep you from sinking. Action now. Yes, the market's below last year's peak, even below the 2000 dot-com peak. Make sure you know what you are doing. Look for opportunities. The market will recover. Houses that where valued at $750K in October are selling for $30K today. Steady your ark. Recoveries happen too.
Don't forget, we're all facing a wild financial ride. How well we survive depends on how well we outfitted our arch. America is a great land of opportunity, even in a bear-recession. If you kept your credit cards under control, if you’ve saved and invested soundly, your ark is in good shape. If you are in trouble trim your sail, batten your hatches and ride out the storm. When you have a chance, throw a lifeline to someone who is in more trouble than you.
Speed isn't always an advantage. Arks are made to weather the storm. They are not made for speed.
Woodpeckers inside are a larger threat than the storm outside. Attitude is the key to success, it's an inside job folks. Successful investing does not depend on a "positive mental attitude." It begins with knowing what you are doing and having the confidence to do it. Remember, you job in a recession is to protect your resources.
When you're stressed out, take a time out. Turn within. Listen to the still small voice. Pray. Meditate. Exercise. Go for a walk. Take a break. Call an old friend, kibitz. Help someone who is worse off. Answers come when you give your subconscious a chance to work for you.
Sometimes a force bigger than you takes control and guides you through the rapids. If you are frantically trying to steer, you are not going to be listening.
Sometimes, you just have to look for the rainbow in the storm and steer for it.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
The Power of Indirect Action
Rule 14 The Power of Indirect Effort
Have you ever noticed that when you argue with people the argue back, when your fight the other guy fights back. When you hate, you are hated. But, when you love you are likely to be loved. You cannot teach you kids to be honest if you lie to them.
When one of my children was very young they stole some candy from the store. My wife has an eagle eye. She made them take it back and apologize to the store owner. Then she had them work off the debt.
My son taught me about unconditional love. Love should be given with no strings attached. Simply encourage people to be all they can be. That doesn’t mean you give an alcoholic a drink when he wants one. I does mean you give them love and respect and encourage them to come clean.
Sometimes, a person doesn’t respond. An abusive husband is domineering and violent because of his need to be in control. If you are in such a situation, it is time for you to cut you boat free and plot your own course.
Don’t try to do it on your own. Look for support. A mentor can help you plot your best course. Find some one you admire and respect who has achieved what you want to achieve. Finding a mentor may be as simple as asking for help.
One last thing, live in the moment but plan for the future. Don’t get upset if things don’t go as expected. Accept the challenge of the river. If you capsize your kayak you are going to get wet, but if you know how to do an Eskimo roll, you are going to come back up on top.
To often, we value our selves by what we do. When we loose a job, it can be devastating not only financially, but psychologically. The toughest job you will ever have is looking for a job. Remember, you are never a failure until you quit trying.
The present recession headed for depression has everyone scared. Our houses are loosing value and our retirement funds have lost half their value. People worry that they may loose their jobs. Many already have.
Many people believe in the great, independent, self sufficient American. It is the idea of everyone for themselves. Such people have never experienced being a single mom struggling to feed her children on a minimum wage job.
Many street people in Hawaii hold full time jobs, but they have to live in their cars because they cannot afford $1000 a month for a studio apartment. They join a gym so they can clean up and go to work. People who are hurting and cannot help themselves need help. Who is going to do it? Charities are struggling and failing to provide services. The only organization that can provide consistent help is our government. People who arbitrarily oppose “big government” simply want fewer services. Sure, welfare has its problems, because people tend to depend on it, but we must provide help for those who cannot help themselves. At the same time, we must help those people learn the skills needed for them to become independent.
Obama is right. Create jobs by repairing much needed infrastructure; help people go back to school and providing help to people who cannot survive without help. Otherwise, this country will descend into chaos and only a fortunate minority will be able to live the good life.
We must each take responsibility for our own life, but we also must make sure that our neighbors in trouble have the help they need.
Have you ever noticed that when you argue with people the argue back, when your fight the other guy fights back. When you hate, you are hated. But, when you love you are likely to be loved. You cannot teach you kids to be honest if you lie to them.
When one of my children was very young they stole some candy from the store. My wife has an eagle eye. She made them take it back and apologize to the store owner. Then she had them work off the debt.
My son taught me about unconditional love. Love should be given with no strings attached. Simply encourage people to be all they can be. That doesn’t mean you give an alcoholic a drink when he wants one. I does mean you give them love and respect and encourage them to come clean.
Sometimes, a person doesn’t respond. An abusive husband is domineering and violent because of his need to be in control. If you are in such a situation, it is time for you to cut you boat free and plot your own course.
Don’t try to do it on your own. Look for support. A mentor can help you plot your best course. Find some one you admire and respect who has achieved what you want to achieve. Finding a mentor may be as simple as asking for help.
One last thing, live in the moment but plan for the future. Don’t get upset if things don’t go as expected. Accept the challenge of the river. If you capsize your kayak you are going to get wet, but if you know how to do an Eskimo roll, you are going to come back up on top.
To often, we value our selves by what we do. When we loose a job, it can be devastating not only financially, but psychologically. The toughest job you will ever have is looking for a job. Remember, you are never a failure until you quit trying.
The present recession headed for depression has everyone scared. Our houses are loosing value and our retirement funds have lost half their value. People worry that they may loose their jobs. Many already have.
Many people believe in the great, independent, self sufficient American. It is the idea of everyone for themselves. Such people have never experienced being a single mom struggling to feed her children on a minimum wage job.
Many street people in Hawaii hold full time jobs, but they have to live in their cars because they cannot afford $1000 a month for a studio apartment. They join a gym so they can clean up and go to work. People who are hurting and cannot help themselves need help. Who is going to do it? Charities are struggling and failing to provide services. The only organization that can provide consistent help is our government. People who arbitrarily oppose “big government” simply want fewer services. Sure, welfare has its problems, because people tend to depend on it, but we must provide help for those who cannot help themselves. At the same time, we must help those people learn the skills needed for them to become independent.
Obama is right. Create jobs by repairing much needed infrastructure; help people go back to school and providing help to people who cannot survive without help. Otherwise, this country will descend into chaos and only a fortunate minority will be able to live the good life.
We must each take responsibility for our own life, but we also must make sure that our neighbors in trouble have the help they need.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
The Power of Persuation
Captains Chart Courses for Their Reasons, Not Yours
Remember, when you work for someone else, you work for their goals not yours.
Some people are lucky enough to hook their boats together when they have a similar course in mind. For many people who hate their jobs, it is because they hooked up to a boat that is pulling them where they don’t want to go.
Some bosses push and others pull. Pushers tell you what to do and when to do it. Most people resent being told what to do. Pushers can build a tight organization, but they won't have happy people. Employees who work for them, work reluctantly.
Bosses who pull their team together do it by selling their goals. They convince their employees that what they're doing is important. They lead by example.
It is strange, but most people do not know how to sell their goals to others. Common methods of motivation include criticizing, complaining, condemning, advising, demanding, manipulating, arguing, defending, and threatening. None of these things do anything more than alienate others.
Even a logical argument may not be effective, because many people make their decisions based on their gut and not on their head.
People are all different and what motivates one will fail was another. You’ve probably all heard of the hierarchy of needs. If you're being threatened, nothing but survival will motivate you. Many people in this world scratch for enough to eat and drink. Their life depends on finding food and water. You can't talk to them about conserving wildlife before they have adequate food and shelter.
Persuasion requires agreement, and you cannot force an agreement. As a sales person, I was taught to ask leading questions. If I got 20 “Yes” answers during the presentation, I knew I was going to close the sale. When you try to persuade the first step is to get agreement on the desired outcome. The only way to be sure their job is on track as to clearly define the standards and guidelines for the successful job. Next you have to make sure that your boat is well outfitted. If you're in the middle of the river and you don't have a oar, you're going to be in trouble. Make sure the rewards and consequences are clear and give them time to practice. Once they have mastered the work, get out of the way and let them do their job.
How can you get someone to agree with you? Ask questions. Our founding fathers asked, “What do you think of taxes without representation? What happens when the king's soldiers take over your home? How will you react when the king takes away your weapons?
In sales, we learned to ask open ended question. An open-ended question cannot be answered yes or no. An open-ended question leads to a conversation. An open ended question usually begins with who, what, when, where, why or how. The close comes when you asked a confirming question. The salesperson will ask, “We have compared the Perfect vacuum cleaner with your vac, and you've seen how much more dirt the Perfect pulls. We know you want to clean house, don't you agree that the Perfect is far better than anything you've ever seen?”
The confirming question is a powerful close.
When you want to persuade you first have to build trust. Then you have to gain their attention. You're never going to be able to make a sale during the Super Bowl. Use questions to understand what people want and desire. Confirm, clarify and agree upon a desired outcome. If you try to sell the world's fastest speed boat to someone who wants to sail around the world, you will not make the sale. Look for areas of agreement. The salesperson had to convince his clients that their vacuum was junk before he had any chance of closing the sale.
Don't tell people what they all ready know. I taught a course in video production to elementary school kids. I assumed they had had no experience, but I quickly learned that they were producing a major documentary for their school and a few of them even had video editing equipment at home. I had to supplement what they already knew..
Don't be afraid to close more than once. Advertisers repeat their message over and over for a very good reason. People generally have to be exposed to the sales pitch at least five times before they'll take action. Once you've achieved an agreement, be sure to follow up. Why do you think your local grocery store sends you all those ads for special prices?
People are always complaining that the river is unfair, but that's simply not true. The river doesn't even know you're there. Stop complaining about the river and learn to steer your course to take advantage of the current.
Remember, when you work for someone else, you work for their goals not yours.
Some people are lucky enough to hook their boats together when they have a similar course in mind. For many people who hate their jobs, it is because they hooked up to a boat that is pulling them where they don’t want to go.
Some bosses push and others pull. Pushers tell you what to do and when to do it. Most people resent being told what to do. Pushers can build a tight organization, but they won't have happy people. Employees who work for them, work reluctantly.
Bosses who pull their team together do it by selling their goals. They convince their employees that what they're doing is important. They lead by example.
It is strange, but most people do not know how to sell their goals to others. Common methods of motivation include criticizing, complaining, condemning, advising, demanding, manipulating, arguing, defending, and threatening. None of these things do anything more than alienate others.
Even a logical argument may not be effective, because many people make their decisions based on their gut and not on their head.
People are all different and what motivates one will fail was another. You’ve probably all heard of the hierarchy of needs. If you're being threatened, nothing but survival will motivate you. Many people in this world scratch for enough to eat and drink. Their life depends on finding food and water. You can't talk to them about conserving wildlife before they have adequate food and shelter.
Persuasion requires agreement, and you cannot force an agreement. As a sales person, I was taught to ask leading questions. If I got 20 “Yes” answers during the presentation, I knew I was going to close the sale. When you try to persuade the first step is to get agreement on the desired outcome. The only way to be sure their job is on track as to clearly define the standards and guidelines for the successful job. Next you have to make sure that your boat is well outfitted. If you're in the middle of the river and you don't have a oar, you're going to be in trouble. Make sure the rewards and consequences are clear and give them time to practice. Once they have mastered the work, get out of the way and let them do their job.
How can you get someone to agree with you? Ask questions. Our founding fathers asked, “What do you think of taxes without representation? What happens when the king's soldiers take over your home? How will you react when the king takes away your weapons?
In sales, we learned to ask open ended question. An open-ended question cannot be answered yes or no. An open-ended question leads to a conversation. An open ended question usually begins with who, what, when, where, why or how. The close comes when you asked a confirming question. The salesperson will ask, “We have compared the Perfect vacuum cleaner with your vac, and you've seen how much more dirt the Perfect pulls. We know you want to clean house, don't you agree that the Perfect is far better than anything you've ever seen?”
The confirming question is a powerful close.
When you want to persuade you first have to build trust. Then you have to gain their attention. You're never going to be able to make a sale during the Super Bowl. Use questions to understand what people want and desire. Confirm, clarify and agree upon a desired outcome. If you try to sell the world's fastest speed boat to someone who wants to sail around the world, you will not make the sale. Look for areas of agreement. The salesperson had to convince his clients that their vacuum was junk before he had any chance of closing the sale.
Don't tell people what they all ready know. I taught a course in video production to elementary school kids. I assumed they had had no experience, but I quickly learned that they were producing a major documentary for their school and a few of them even had video editing equipment at home. I had to supplement what they already knew..
Don't be afraid to close more than once. Advertisers repeat their message over and over for a very good reason. People generally have to be exposed to the sales pitch at least five times before they'll take action. Once you've achieved an agreement, be sure to follow up. Why do you think your local grocery store sends you all those ads for special prices?
People are always complaining that the river is unfair, but that's simply not true. The river doesn't even know you're there. Stop complaining about the river and learn to steer your course to take advantage of the current.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Learn to speak you boss's language
If you want your crew to listen, learn to speak their language.
I used to teach management principles to state employees. One day as the class was winding down, a gentlemen came up to me and asked, “Do you really believe that stuff?” I told him yes, and I was speaking the truth. It was only later that I learned how wrong I was.
One of the principles I taught was that you define your goals, break those goals down into measurable steps, and check regularly to make sure you are still on course. Then adjust your course before you got too far off track.
To do this, I always tried to make sure I understood my boss’s goals. Then, I would break those goals down into the steps I needed to take in order to accomplish them. In order to make sure I stayed on track I let my boss know what I was doing. It works fine, as long as my boss is understood what I was trying to do.
I was promoted and assigned to new boss. After I made my first report to him, he wrote me a letter of reprimand, telling me that I worked for him, I would not tell him what to do and he would give me daily assignments. He expected them to be carried out to the letter.
I went to him and told him I needed his guidance and was not trying to tell him what to do. I was simply trying to keep him informed as to what I was doing so he could make sure that I was on course. He told me that because of the workload we could only respond to the demands of the job and repeated that I was not to take any initiative but was to do exactly what he told me.
Now it's true that the crew must follow orders, but it is hard to work for a man who doesn't set a course. I like to work with the team, but I always got my hackles up when someone told me what to do. When you're in this kind of a situation you have two choices. One is to find a new captain. The other, is to swallow your pride and follow orders. I needed to secure a retirement. So for seven years, I followed orders.
I try to learn from my mistakes. Looking back at it, rather than trying to use my initiative to do a better job, I should have relaxed and taken orders. If you are a crew member, you have the follow orders. One thing, you always have to remember is that time often resolves problems. Be patient, the boss will retire and you may take his place. Who knows, you may even get a boss you actually like working for.
Remember, if you're part of the crew you better understand your captain's language
Based on the book, "A River Worth Riding" by Lynn Marie Sager.
I used to teach management principles to state employees. One day as the class was winding down, a gentlemen came up to me and asked, “Do you really believe that stuff?” I told him yes, and I was speaking the truth. It was only later that I learned how wrong I was.
One of the principles I taught was that you define your goals, break those goals down into measurable steps, and check regularly to make sure you are still on course. Then adjust your course before you got too far off track.
To do this, I always tried to make sure I understood my boss’s goals. Then, I would break those goals down into the steps I needed to take in order to accomplish them. In order to make sure I stayed on track I let my boss know what I was doing. It works fine, as long as my boss is understood what I was trying to do.
I was promoted and assigned to new boss. After I made my first report to him, he wrote me a letter of reprimand, telling me that I worked for him, I would not tell him what to do and he would give me daily assignments. He expected them to be carried out to the letter.
I went to him and told him I needed his guidance and was not trying to tell him what to do. I was simply trying to keep him informed as to what I was doing so he could make sure that I was on course. He told me that because of the workload we could only respond to the demands of the job and repeated that I was not to take any initiative but was to do exactly what he told me.
Now it's true that the crew must follow orders, but it is hard to work for a man who doesn't set a course. I like to work with the team, but I always got my hackles up when someone told me what to do. When you're in this kind of a situation you have two choices. One is to find a new captain. The other, is to swallow your pride and follow orders. I needed to secure a retirement. So for seven years, I followed orders.
I try to learn from my mistakes. Looking back at it, rather than trying to use my initiative to do a better job, I should have relaxed and taken orders. If you are a crew member, you have the follow orders. One thing, you always have to remember is that time often resolves problems. Be patient, the boss will retire and you may take his place. Who knows, you may even get a boss you actually like working for.
Remember, if you're part of the crew you better understand your captain's language
Based on the book, "A River Worth Riding" by Lynn Marie Sager.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Navigating troubled waters
We have some stormy financial waters ahead. People are worried about their jobs and their ability to pay their mortgage. Some people are paralyzed with fear and anger.
The present financial crisis hasn't been seen since the Great Depression. Pres. Obama may be able to spread some oil on troubled waters, but even the most optimistic experts expect the storm to last a year or more.
There is nothing we can do about this financial mess, but, we can chart a course to minimize the danger. We need to batten down our hatches and trim our sails in order to weather this storm.
The most important thing is to pay off your credit cards. Focus on the card with the lowest balance first. If all your cards are maxed out, focus on the card with the highest interest. Second, when you get one card paid off take the money you were paying on the first card and add it to the payment you been making on the second card. That way you will be able to pay down the second card as fast as possible. Repeat the process for every card until you've got your credit cards under control.
You may have to take a second job in order to accomplish your goal. But, your choice is to bail out your boat or swamp. There is nothing you can do about the external forces causing this storm, but with smart planning you can weather it. If your boat winds up on the rocks, bankruptcy is a last resort. But, even then, remember that you can build another boat and you can control your course.
You are the master of your ship. Never ignore a debt you cannot pay. Face the lender straight on and negotiate a payment you can handle. Beware of late payments. Credit card companies are ruthless when it comes to increasing interest rates and tacking on late fees. If you simply stop paying on a credit card, late fees can amount to thousands of dollars.
When faced with a crisis, you must make a decision to take control. If you don’t steer you craft, the current can carry you into the worst of whirlpools.
Get resourceful. Face your fear and plot a course that will carry you through.
Overcome fear by getting physical. Exercise will not only make your stronger but it is also a great stress reliever. Some of your best ideas will come during a long run. Get in there and row your boat. It will make you stronger in mind and spirit.
Remember the rule of entropy. Use it or loose it. Feed your mind. The book, Navigating Life, is a good place to start. Read about successful people and how they overcame diversity.
If you loose your job, there is no shame. The only shame is in quitting.
Divide a page of paper in half. On the left side write down all the things you like to do. On the right side write everything you hate to do. How does your job stack up? Many people who suddenly found themselves without a job have gone on to find work they feel is really rewarding. Others have started their own businesses.
A business of your own can have enormous tax advantages even if you only pursue it part time while you keep your day job.
People have survived terrible adversity by focusing on the good things in their life. Develop a plan to succeed. Find a mentor who has done what you want to do and model your life on what has worked for others. A river guide knows from experience where to place his kayak to be able to shoot through a rapid. You'll be wize to follow his expample.
Visualize what you want on the river of life and develop a plan to get there. If your plans are not working, pull up to the bank and take time to figure out how to adjust your course and get back on the track to success.
The present financial crisis hasn't been seen since the Great Depression. Pres. Obama may be able to spread some oil on troubled waters, but even the most optimistic experts expect the storm to last a year or more.
There is nothing we can do about this financial mess, but, we can chart a course to minimize the danger. We need to batten down our hatches and trim our sails in order to weather this storm.
The most important thing is to pay off your credit cards. Focus on the card with the lowest balance first. If all your cards are maxed out, focus on the card with the highest interest. Second, when you get one card paid off take the money you were paying on the first card and add it to the payment you been making on the second card. That way you will be able to pay down the second card as fast as possible. Repeat the process for every card until you've got your credit cards under control.
You may have to take a second job in order to accomplish your goal. But, your choice is to bail out your boat or swamp. There is nothing you can do about the external forces causing this storm, but with smart planning you can weather it. If your boat winds up on the rocks, bankruptcy is a last resort. But, even then, remember that you can build another boat and you can control your course.
You are the master of your ship. Never ignore a debt you cannot pay. Face the lender straight on and negotiate a payment you can handle. Beware of late payments. Credit card companies are ruthless when it comes to increasing interest rates and tacking on late fees. If you simply stop paying on a credit card, late fees can amount to thousands of dollars.
When faced with a crisis, you must make a decision to take control. If you don’t steer you craft, the current can carry you into the worst of whirlpools.
Get resourceful. Face your fear and plot a course that will carry you through.
Overcome fear by getting physical. Exercise will not only make your stronger but it is also a great stress reliever. Some of your best ideas will come during a long run. Get in there and row your boat. It will make you stronger in mind and spirit.
Remember the rule of entropy. Use it or loose it. Feed your mind. The book, Navigating Life, is a good place to start. Read about successful people and how they overcame diversity.
If you loose your job, there is no shame. The only shame is in quitting.
Divide a page of paper in half. On the left side write down all the things you like to do. On the right side write everything you hate to do. How does your job stack up? Many people who suddenly found themselves without a job have gone on to find work they feel is really rewarding. Others have started their own businesses.
A business of your own can have enormous tax advantages even if you only pursue it part time while you keep your day job.
People have survived terrible adversity by focusing on the good things in their life. Develop a plan to succeed. Find a mentor who has done what you want to do and model your life on what has worked for others. A river guide knows from experience where to place his kayak to be able to shoot through a rapid. You'll be wize to follow his expample.
Visualize what you want on the river of life and develop a plan to get there. If your plans are not working, pull up to the bank and take time to figure out how to adjust your course and get back on the track to success.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Rule 9 Contribution and Compensation
Rule 9 Keep the River Clean and You’ll Always Have Water
The Power of Contribution and Compensation.
The power of contribution, says for every contribution you make to the river, you will receive an equal or greater compensation. I've seen many people give with the expectation they will receive great compensation. But, that kind of giving is manipulation.
True giving is a gift of love. It is giving to help with no expectation of return.
My grandmother always taught me to leave the beach a little cleaner than I found it. Now, I can clean up the litter along the bank, but I can't keep a paper mill from dumping its poisons in the river. The only way I can do that is to work with others to pass clean water legislation and make sure the legislation is enforced.
The "drilled baby drill" people don't care about the consequences of drilling. As long as they have cheap gas in their tank, they either don't look to the future, or they don't care what kind of mess they leave to our kids. The irony of this is we can't drill our way out of the problem. By drilling, we may be able to give ourselves enough time to develop alternate kinds of fuel. But oil is finite and we have gotten all the easy oil.
The free, unregulated market only works when the buyer and the seller bargain on an equal footing. If we buy cheap products from China, our local businesses can't compete without exporting our jobs overseas. This whole financial meltdown is a result of banks being able to sell their mortgages so they can take the risks of those mortgages off their books. When they're not responsible for the quality of their mortgage, their motivation is to sell mortgages. They don't have to worry about whether or not the buyer can afford the mortgage. When interest rates began adjusting upward, people started default.
The law of contribution and compensation hit them with a vengeance. They planned on living in the house for a year and a day, selling the house for a half million dollar profit and paying a 15% capital gains on the money they made. When the housing bubble burst, a lot of people got caught in a financial squeeze. They defaulted on their mortgage. When people saw their financial companies reporting, billion-dollar losses. The value of those companies plummeted, and investors converted their stock to cash.
Credit dried up, the stock market crashed, and we haven't seen the bottom yet. The problem was created by low interest rates, by skyrocketing housing costs, and by lack of federal oversight of the financial institutions. CEOs of these companies are still being compensated with millions of dollars a year. They haven't been fired and the federal government is using $750 billion of our money to try to keep these stock market manipulators from going bankrupt.
The law of contribution and compensation doesn't work when the only contribution is selling fraudulent stocks to unsuspecting investors and the compensation for doing that is a multimillion dollar reward. White-collar criminals shouldn't be rewarded; they should be jailed.
The bottom line on contribution and compensation is we give what we get, and we get what we give. Give hate and get hate back. Give love and love will come back to you.
"Turn the other cheek" does not mean you want to accept a beating. It does mean that you control your own boat and choose your own course. Recognize the difference between manipulation and true giving. Give yourself to make sure the river is clean, and you'll always be able to drink.
From “A River Worth Riding”, by Lynn Marie Sager, www.navigatinglife.org
The Power of Contribution and Compensation.
The power of contribution, says for every contribution you make to the river, you will receive an equal or greater compensation. I've seen many people give with the expectation they will receive great compensation. But, that kind of giving is manipulation.
True giving is a gift of love. It is giving to help with no expectation of return.
My grandmother always taught me to leave the beach a little cleaner than I found it. Now, I can clean up the litter along the bank, but I can't keep a paper mill from dumping its poisons in the river. The only way I can do that is to work with others to pass clean water legislation and make sure the legislation is enforced.
The "drilled baby drill" people don't care about the consequences of drilling. As long as they have cheap gas in their tank, they either don't look to the future, or they don't care what kind of mess they leave to our kids. The irony of this is we can't drill our way out of the problem. By drilling, we may be able to give ourselves enough time to develop alternate kinds of fuel. But oil is finite and we have gotten all the easy oil.
The free, unregulated market only works when the buyer and the seller bargain on an equal footing. If we buy cheap products from China, our local businesses can't compete without exporting our jobs overseas. This whole financial meltdown is a result of banks being able to sell their mortgages so they can take the risks of those mortgages off their books. When they're not responsible for the quality of their mortgage, their motivation is to sell mortgages. They don't have to worry about whether or not the buyer can afford the mortgage. When interest rates began adjusting upward, people started default.
The law of contribution and compensation hit them with a vengeance. They planned on living in the house for a year and a day, selling the house for a half million dollar profit and paying a 15% capital gains on the money they made. When the housing bubble burst, a lot of people got caught in a financial squeeze. They defaulted on their mortgage. When people saw their financial companies reporting, billion-dollar losses. The value of those companies plummeted, and investors converted their stock to cash.
Credit dried up, the stock market crashed, and we haven't seen the bottom yet. The problem was created by low interest rates, by skyrocketing housing costs, and by lack of federal oversight of the financial institutions. CEOs of these companies are still being compensated with millions of dollars a year. They haven't been fired and the federal government is using $750 billion of our money to try to keep these stock market manipulators from going bankrupt.
The law of contribution and compensation doesn't work when the only contribution is selling fraudulent stocks to unsuspecting investors and the compensation for doing that is a multimillion dollar reward. White-collar criminals shouldn't be rewarded; they should be jailed.
The bottom line on contribution and compensation is we give what we get, and we get what we give. Give hate and get hate back. Give love and love will come back to you.
"Turn the other cheek" does not mean you want to accept a beating. It does mean that you control your own boat and choose your own course. Recognize the difference between manipulation and true giving. Give yourself to make sure the river is clean, and you'll always be able to drink.
From “A River Worth Riding”, by Lynn Marie Sager, www.navigatinglife.org
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Decisions
My daughter has a problem. She is caught in a financial whirlpool.
She was teaching at a community college, but, like so many state and local government organizations, her school had to cut programs in order to balance their budget. My daughter didn't have tenure, so she was one of those who was thrown out of the boat.
She was raised in Hawaii, and she wants to come home. But, she has established a life and friends on the mainland. Coming home will involve building a new boat. That's never an easy thing to do. She has lived independently for 30 years, and giving up that independence to live with her parents is not the best of situations. On the other hand, it looks like she has a choice of living on the streets or coming home and living with us until she is able to put her financial boat in order.
Her ambition is to make a living helping other people to live a better life. She has developed a great website which provides some ideas about navigating life. She has also developed a really fun way of helping parents become involved in their children's education. Because her business is based on a website, she can continue to build that business regardless of where she lives.
She and I both believe that it's better to be the captain of your own ship then crew on someone else's. Coming home will give her time to build her business and will remove some of the pressure of trying to make a living.
I stood on the bank of the Fraser River and watched the whirlpools of Hell's gate. Those whirlpools would develop into a monstrous swirl, and then lose strength and pop up in a different part of the river. People on the river have a choice between a very difficult land portage and taking their chances on the river. It is possible to avoid the whirlpools, but doing so depends more on luck than skill.
I have been telling my daughter to read her own book. She has been teaching people how to navigate life. Now she has to apply what she's been teaching to her own life. Converting what you teach, or have been taught, into meaningful action is never easy. Sometimes you need a navigator who can guide you through the rapids. Just remember that it's the captain who is responsible for the ship. The navigator can only suggest a course.
Climb to a high point where you can see the river, determine the course you have to take to get through the rapids, then shove off bravely in the rapids. Procrastination will leave you sitting on the bank and getting nowhere. You might even be sitting on quicksand.
She was teaching at a community college, but, like so many state and local government organizations, her school had to cut programs in order to balance their budget. My daughter didn't have tenure, so she was one of those who was thrown out of the boat.
She was raised in Hawaii, and she wants to come home. But, she has established a life and friends on the mainland. Coming home will involve building a new boat. That's never an easy thing to do. She has lived independently for 30 years, and giving up that independence to live with her parents is not the best of situations. On the other hand, it looks like she has a choice of living on the streets or coming home and living with us until she is able to put her financial boat in order.
Her ambition is to make a living helping other people to live a better life. She has developed a great website which provides some ideas about navigating life. She has also developed a really fun way of helping parents become involved in their children's education. Because her business is based on a website, she can continue to build that business regardless of where she lives.
She and I both believe that it's better to be the captain of your own ship then crew on someone else's. Coming home will give her time to build her business and will remove some of the pressure of trying to make a living.
I stood on the bank of the Fraser River and watched the whirlpools of Hell's gate. Those whirlpools would develop into a monstrous swirl, and then lose strength and pop up in a different part of the river. People on the river have a choice between a very difficult land portage and taking their chances on the river. It is possible to avoid the whirlpools, but doing so depends more on luck than skill.
I have been telling my daughter to read her own book. She has been teaching people how to navigate life. Now she has to apply what she's been teaching to her own life. Converting what you teach, or have been taught, into meaningful action is never easy. Sometimes you need a navigator who can guide you through the rapids. Just remember that it's the captain who is responsible for the ship. The navigator can only suggest a course.
Climb to a high point where you can see the river, determine the course you have to take to get through the rapids, then shove off bravely in the rapids. Procrastination will leave you sitting on the bank and getting nowhere. You might even be sitting on quicksand.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Rule 8: The Power of Responsibility
The river will always be wet. So, stop complaining and learn to pack a towel.
We've all seen people floating down the river on their soapboxes. Modern technology has allowed us to crowd more and more soapboxes onto the river. The Internet is filled with soapboxes. Television and the Internet are filled with political distortions and outright lies.
Even our president has been caught in so many lies that most people no longer listen to him. The biggest lie of all is the idea that we have a war on terror; that we have to fight them in Iraq in order to keep them from coming to the United States. Consider that 9/11 was carried out by less than two dozen people, and you'll understand that the only thing they can protect us from terrorists is excellent intelligence and very coordinated police work. Even then, a small determined group can strike whenever and wherever they choose.
There is very little we can do to influence world events. The only thing we really can do is to go with the flow of events we cannot control and make sure we take responsibility for our own lives.
The fiscal meltdown is carrying us over the falls. Some of us will landed in the plunge pool, comes the surface and fight our way through the rapids to calmer water. Some of us are going to land on the rocks and be wiped out.
For over a year, I've been sure that we were floating closer and closer to the waterfall. I've been telling my friends they needed to be invested in gold and treasury bonds. They needed to be sure that their assets were protected. Successful investors ride the waves and pull out before the waves break on the shore.
I went to a political meeting the other night. One of the candidates was railing against the Republicans who he said had led us into this mess. He complained he had lost enough money in the past two days that he could have bought a luxury BMW. At least he would have had the car. He wouldn't be able to buy gas for it, but he would have it.
I certainly sympathize with all those people who are about to lose their homes and whose 401(k) has lost three quarters of its value. I am taking a tax class. I heard my instructors discussing whether or not they should pull their retirement funds out of their company. Of course, it's always good to be diversified, but they are already too late. They needed to take action a year ago, when any close observer of the stock market could see that we're in trouble.
So, the bottom line is, how can we control our life in these turbulent times. The river gives us 3 choices:
One. The current is beyond our control. Don’t worry about what you cannot control.
Two. We can influence the river; we can damn it, we can dredge it or we can build dikes. But what can we do that in real life? Choose your captain carefully.
Three. Our choice is to keep complaining, or paddle like mad to get through as best we can. We choose the boat and handle paddles. We can control where, on the river, we choose to paddle.
In this current financial mess, you can choose a captain to manage your money, or you can be your own captain and control how your funds are invested.
Just understand that if you choose a captain to manage your funds, choose a captain who has your interests in mind rather than his own. A financial planner, whose income is based on the commissions he gets for the productsh the financial planner, whose income is based on the commission she gets for the products sells you, is motivated to sell you products that gives him the best income rather than products that give you the best return.
Personally, I need a navigator, not a captain. I take responsibility for my own life. My navigator will provide guidance and teach me what to look for, but I'll make my own financial decisions.
For an investor, stops are vital. They are the anchor that keeps you from going over the falls. No one should have ridden over this waterfall. If you set your stops, you would have gotten out at the top of the falls and not at the bottom.
I take responsibility for my own life. If I chose a captain who took your the falls, I was responsible for that choice. The best thing I can do is to do can do is to become your own captain.
We've all seen people floating down the river on their soapboxes. Modern technology has allowed us to crowd more and more soapboxes onto the river. The Internet is filled with soapboxes. Television and the Internet are filled with political distortions and outright lies.
Even our president has been caught in so many lies that most people no longer listen to him. The biggest lie of all is the idea that we have a war on terror; that we have to fight them in Iraq in order to keep them from coming to the United States. Consider that 9/11 was carried out by less than two dozen people, and you'll understand that the only thing they can protect us from terrorists is excellent intelligence and very coordinated police work. Even then, a small determined group can strike whenever and wherever they choose.
There is very little we can do to influence world events. The only thing we really can do is to go with the flow of events we cannot control and make sure we take responsibility for our own lives.
The fiscal meltdown is carrying us over the falls. Some of us will landed in the plunge pool, comes the surface and fight our way through the rapids to calmer water. Some of us are going to land on the rocks and be wiped out.
For over a year, I've been sure that we were floating closer and closer to the waterfall. I've been telling my friends they needed to be invested in gold and treasury bonds. They needed to be sure that their assets were protected. Successful investors ride the waves and pull out before the waves break on the shore.
I went to a political meeting the other night. One of the candidates was railing against the Republicans who he said had led us into this mess. He complained he had lost enough money in the past two days that he could have bought a luxury BMW. At least he would have had the car. He wouldn't be able to buy gas for it, but he would have it.
I certainly sympathize with all those people who are about to lose their homes and whose 401(k) has lost three quarters of its value. I am taking a tax class. I heard my instructors discussing whether or not they should pull their retirement funds out of their company. Of course, it's always good to be diversified, but they are already too late. They needed to take action a year ago, when any close observer of the stock market could see that we're in trouble.
So, the bottom line is, how can we control our life in these turbulent times. The river gives us 3 choices:
One. The current is beyond our control. Don’t worry about what you cannot control.
Two. We can influence the river; we can damn it, we can dredge it or we can build dikes. But what can we do that in real life? Choose your captain carefully.
Three. Our choice is to keep complaining, or paddle like mad to get through as best we can. We choose the boat and handle paddles. We can control where, on the river, we choose to paddle.
In this current financial mess, you can choose a captain to manage your money, or you can be your own captain and control how your funds are invested.
Just understand that if you choose a captain to manage your funds, choose a captain who has your interests in mind rather than his own. A financial planner, whose income is based on the commissions he gets for the productsh the financial planner, whose income is based on the commission she gets for the products sells you, is motivated to sell you products that gives him the best income rather than products that give you the best return.
Personally, I need a navigator, not a captain. I take responsibility for my own life. My navigator will provide guidance and teach me what to look for, but I'll make my own financial decisions.
For an investor, stops are vital. They are the anchor that keeps you from going over the falls. No one should have ridden over this waterfall. If you set your stops, you would have gotten out at the top of the falls and not at the bottom.
I take responsibility for my own life. If I chose a captain who took your the falls, I was responsible for that choice. The best thing I can do is to do can do is to become your own captain.
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Rule 6 There is no such thing as a vacuum.
Have you ever thought that a pitcher is never empty? As you pour the milk out, air pours in. The same is true of riding your River of Life. The size of your boat is determined by the 24 hours in a day. What you load in that boat is up to you.
If you load your boat with sand, you're loading it with busy work and will not be able to load the big things that are important to you. If you load the big things first, you can then add sand to fill up the spaces. Just don't overload your boat. You'll end up swamping. They call it burn out
So how do you budget your time? Here are some suggestions.
You need to know where you want to go. And, understand that it takes time to reach port.
Keep an eye on the horizon. Make sure you're headed in the right direction and plan your course. Don't forget to consider all your resources including, time and money, property and energy, relationships and health.
Once you've looked at the big picture, focus on the small stuff. Understand each small steps you have to take to reach port. Understand that the currents are always changing. Take advantage of the currents, but when you are carried of course be ready to make the corrections you need to reach your port.
Understand you can't control the tides. Don't worry about the things you can't control. Just concentrate on steering a course that will keep you off the rocks.
Indecision can swamp your boat. If you are riding a big wave, you're going to have to paddle with finesse and intuition in order to avoid a wipeout.
Cheap boats cost too much, and easy journeys are seldom worth while. You have to be prepared. That's why education is so important. I believe, the G.I. Bill, that sent so many world war two veterans to school, fueled the prosperity of this country for 30 years. It was the best investment this country has ever made in his people.
A routine visit to the dry dock is vital to your success. Take care of your health and continue to learn.
Without a deadline, you may never leave port When you know your goal you have to set your course. The objectives you set will guide you navigation. Objectives need to be small, measurable steps that have a deadline. When you set measurable objectives you will know you are on track to your goal. If you have to make a course correction, measurable objectives will prevent you from going far off track.
Balance your boat. Protect your health. Take time for your family and other things that are important to you. The neglected crew usually jump ship. Do family things together, and protect and nurture your friends.
Take time for the scenic route. If you stick to the freeway, you're going to miss a lot. Take time to enjoy the beauty along the river.
Finally, the captain sets the course. You have to be captain of your own fate. Know the things that are important to you and understand your values. If your values are in conflict with those of your boss, you need to make a course adjustment. Even better, when you are the captain, you can do what you want when you want and concentrate on those things you value.
A goal is what you want to accomplish. The objectives you set guide you to the goal. To be effective and objective has to be something you can accomplish in a relatively short time; it has to be measurable, and it must have a deadline. When you have an objective that is both measurable and set to a deadline, you will know if you're on course.
In nature, and in your life, there is no such thing as a vacuum. Sand, the small stuff, will always fill your life. Make sure you load the big stuff, the stuff that will lead you to your goal, before he lets the sand dominate your life.
From the book Navigating Life by Lynn Sager
Have you ever thought that a pitcher is never empty? As you pour the milk out, air pours in. The same is true of riding your River of Life. The size of your boat is determined by the 24 hours in a day. What you load in that boat is up to you.
If you load your boat with sand, you're loading it with busy work and will not be able to load the big things that are important to you. If you load the big things first, you can then add sand to fill up the spaces. Just don't overload your boat. You'll end up swamping. They call it burn out
So how do you budget your time? Here are some suggestions.
You need to know where you want to go. And, understand that it takes time to reach port.
Keep an eye on the horizon. Make sure you're headed in the right direction and plan your course. Don't forget to consider all your resources including, time and money, property and energy, relationships and health.
Once you've looked at the big picture, focus on the small stuff. Understand each small steps you have to take to reach port. Understand that the currents are always changing. Take advantage of the currents, but when you are carried of course be ready to make the corrections you need to reach your port.
Understand you can't control the tides. Don't worry about the things you can't control. Just concentrate on steering a course that will keep you off the rocks.
Indecision can swamp your boat. If you are riding a big wave, you're going to have to paddle with finesse and intuition in order to avoid a wipeout.
Cheap boats cost too much, and easy journeys are seldom worth while. You have to be prepared. That's why education is so important. I believe, the G.I. Bill, that sent so many world war two veterans to school, fueled the prosperity of this country for 30 years. It was the best investment this country has ever made in his people.
A routine visit to the dry dock is vital to your success. Take care of your health and continue to learn.
Without a deadline, you may never leave port When you know your goal you have to set your course. The objectives you set will guide you navigation. Objectives need to be small, measurable steps that have a deadline. When you set measurable objectives you will know you are on track to your goal. If you have to make a course correction, measurable objectives will prevent you from going far off track.
Balance your boat. Protect your health. Take time for your family and other things that are important to you. The neglected crew usually jump ship. Do family things together, and protect and nurture your friends.
Take time for the scenic route. If you stick to the freeway, you're going to miss a lot. Take time to enjoy the beauty along the river.
Finally, the captain sets the course. You have to be captain of your own fate. Know the things that are important to you and understand your values. If your values are in conflict with those of your boss, you need to make a course adjustment. Even better, when you are the captain, you can do what you want when you want and concentrate on those things you value.
A goal is what you want to accomplish. The objectives you set guide you to the goal. To be effective and objective has to be something you can accomplish in a relatively short time; it has to be measurable, and it must have a deadline. When you have an objective that is both measurable and set to a deadline, you will know if you're on course.
In nature, and in your life, there is no such thing as a vacuum. Sand, the small stuff, will always fill your life. Make sure you load the big stuff, the stuff that will lead you to your goal, before he lets the sand dominate your life.
From the book Navigating Life by Lynn Sager
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The World's Longest Timeline Unveiled
Recently Historybusters unveiled the World's Longest Timeline in an effort to provide kids and their parents with some visual historical perspective. After all, we hear historians toss around the names of various historical eras all the time, but they mean nothing until we can put them into context. The Timeline does just that. Here are some pictures of the event...
We will be posting video on U-Tube and as soon as its ready we will post a link to it here...
We will be posting video on U-Tube and as soon as its ready we will post a link to it here...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Rule 5 – Don’t complain about the wind; adjust your sails
Rule 5 – Don’t complain about the wind; adjust your sails
The only difference between being 20 and being 78, is that I no longer make twenty-year plans.
Riding the river of life, you must always check your course and make adjustments. At 78, I recognize that much closer to the mouth of that river; hopefully, the rest of the ride will be placid and smooth.
The only way I can be sure of that is to pull up to the bank and check out the river ahead to the best of my ability. The government policies of printing money to pay debt will drive inflation and interest rates. This is not the time to have an adjustable rate second mortgage. An economic slowdown caused by the freeze up in the financial market will make it tough for everyone. With a fixed income this means my river ahead is still full rapids.
I recognized the need to make $5-$10,000 a year more than I'm currently making. More will allow me to pay down my debt. I've set my course to help people understand what we must do to pass on a viable environment to our children. My tool is video. My products are environmental documentaries. Unfortunately this goal is both expensive and not necessarily financially rewarding.
The most reliable way I can make extra money is by taking a second job. The problem with that captains set their own course, and I'm neither good at taking orders or in working for other people's goals. You might say I'm a mutineer.
Business people are reluctant to hire someone approaching 80. So, I have to find someone who doesn't discriminate against age, who allows me to help others and has the potential to provide the income I need. I'm not physically able to work construction. I'd even have problems working on my feet for eight hours. For me, tax preparation seems to be the best route. The business is not dependent on the state of the economy. Everyone has to pay taxes. I can work hard for 3 1/2 months and reach my financial goals. The rest of the year. I'll be able to pursue my own course.
The course you plot will depend on three aspects of your brain. The right side is your explorer. The explorer manages your creativity and your ability to dream. But your explorer gets nothing down. It's your navigator, who sets the course toward your goals. Your navigator is the logical left side of your brain. Your navigator looks at where you want to go and figures out how to get there
The third part of your brain is the workhorse. You've all heard of the workaholic. The workhorse gets things done. If the workhorse moves forward on the steps they navigator has created, you will know that you're moving forward toward your goals.
To accomplish anything worthwhile, you have to get the explorer, the navigator and the workhorse all working together. Unless they do, your boat will be stuck in an eddy going around in circles. They call it busy work.
There are tools you can use to pull the three aspects of your brain together.
One is strategic thinking. It's the process of plotting your course backwards from your goal. Once you have the major steps you need to take to accomplish your goal, you then set small measurable objectives, which will help keep you on course.
A Harvard business school survey of their MBA graduates found that 27% of their MBA graduates were living on assistance. These people didn't budget their money or set any goals. 60% were living paycheck to paycheck. They found that these people did budget their finances, but had set no strategic goals. 10% reported they were comfortable, all of these people also reported they had a general, five-year financial and life plan. Only 3% reported that they were independently wealthy and happy with their lives. The study discovered that all these people developed written lists of their long-term goals and action plans for achieving those goals. They all develop a strategy for success and a way to monitor their progress.
My grandmother used to quote Robert Burns, “The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft algae”. When you plans go wrong, pull up to the bank and figure out how you have to readjust you course. You never fail until you quit trying.
Brainstorming is the explorer's second tool. Brainstorming is where a group of people get together to throw out ideas. These ideas are never ridiculed or rejected during the brainstorming process. After all ideas have been suggested, it's time for careful deliberation to determine which ideas are best and most practical.
Another form of brainstorming is to work on something as fast as possible. It forces the creative side of your brain to work. A writer is told to write without stopping. When the chapter or article is complete, it will be time to go back and use your navigating side of the brain to edit and revise.
The third tool is visualization. We've all seen an athlete pause before executing a difficult maneuver. He is visualizing every aspect of what he is about to do.
For the navigator to plan her course, you need an accurate map. The more you know, the better your map will be. That's why education is so important.
You need a steady rudder. That is your determination and drive. Trim your sail to catch the wind. Your sail is your passion, your joy and your vocation.
Most important is your moral compass. Your compass is your conscience. Your compass is based on your values. If you value honesty and loyalty, you won't lie and you won't cheat. You will be loyal to your wife and pass your values on to your kids.
You need a solid anchor in a storm to avoid being washed up on the rocks. Your anchor is the value to place on yourself. It gives you your ability to make difficult decisions and to know you're on the right course even when others disapprove. It allows you to stand up for what you believe, despite any criticism.
Your friends are a great influence on your life. If you choose a mate who is abusive and domineering, your anchor will slip and you are in a world of trouble. If you choose friends who are positive, they will help you achieve. They will be a loyal crew. You can call on when you need help.
How do you make this all work? Write down a personal declaration of you who you are, what you value and what you intend to accomplish with your life. Yes it must be written. When you write down your personal declaration, you are more committed to it and you can come back to review it whenever you need to make an important decision. If the course you set is inconsistent with your values, you either need to revise your values or more probably reset your course.
The bottom line is, if you don't care where you're going any course will get you there. If you want a meaningful life, understand your goals, set your course and put your workhorse to work.
The only difference between being 20 and being 78, is that I no longer make twenty-year plans.
Riding the river of life, you must always check your course and make adjustments. At 78, I recognize that much closer to the mouth of that river; hopefully, the rest of the ride will be placid and smooth.
The only way I can be sure of that is to pull up to the bank and check out the river ahead to the best of my ability. The government policies of printing money to pay debt will drive inflation and interest rates. This is not the time to have an adjustable rate second mortgage. An economic slowdown caused by the freeze up in the financial market will make it tough for everyone. With a fixed income this means my river ahead is still full rapids.
I recognized the need to make $5-$10,000 a year more than I'm currently making. More will allow me to pay down my debt. I've set my course to help people understand what we must do to pass on a viable environment to our children. My tool is video. My products are environmental documentaries. Unfortunately this goal is both expensive and not necessarily financially rewarding.
The most reliable way I can make extra money is by taking a second job. The problem with that captains set their own course, and I'm neither good at taking orders or in working for other people's goals. You might say I'm a mutineer.
Business people are reluctant to hire someone approaching 80. So, I have to find someone who doesn't discriminate against age, who allows me to help others and has the potential to provide the income I need. I'm not physically able to work construction. I'd even have problems working on my feet for eight hours. For me, tax preparation seems to be the best route. The business is not dependent on the state of the economy. Everyone has to pay taxes. I can work hard for 3 1/2 months and reach my financial goals. The rest of the year. I'll be able to pursue my own course.
The course you plot will depend on three aspects of your brain. The right side is your explorer. The explorer manages your creativity and your ability to dream. But your explorer gets nothing down. It's your navigator, who sets the course toward your goals. Your navigator is the logical left side of your brain. Your navigator looks at where you want to go and figures out how to get there
The third part of your brain is the workhorse. You've all heard of the workaholic. The workhorse gets things done. If the workhorse moves forward on the steps they navigator has created, you will know that you're moving forward toward your goals.
To accomplish anything worthwhile, you have to get the explorer, the navigator and the workhorse all working together. Unless they do, your boat will be stuck in an eddy going around in circles. They call it busy work.
There are tools you can use to pull the three aspects of your brain together.
One is strategic thinking. It's the process of plotting your course backwards from your goal. Once you have the major steps you need to take to accomplish your goal, you then set small measurable objectives, which will help keep you on course.
A Harvard business school survey of their MBA graduates found that 27% of their MBA graduates were living on assistance. These people didn't budget their money or set any goals. 60% were living paycheck to paycheck. They found that these people did budget their finances, but had set no strategic goals. 10% reported they were comfortable, all of these people also reported they had a general, five-year financial and life plan. Only 3% reported that they were independently wealthy and happy with their lives. The study discovered that all these people developed written lists of their long-term goals and action plans for achieving those goals. They all develop a strategy for success and a way to monitor their progress.
My grandmother used to quote Robert Burns, “The best laid plans of mice and men gang aft algae”. When you plans go wrong, pull up to the bank and figure out how you have to readjust you course. You never fail until you quit trying.
Brainstorming is the explorer's second tool. Brainstorming is where a group of people get together to throw out ideas. These ideas are never ridiculed or rejected during the brainstorming process. After all ideas have been suggested, it's time for careful deliberation to determine which ideas are best and most practical.
Another form of brainstorming is to work on something as fast as possible. It forces the creative side of your brain to work. A writer is told to write without stopping. When the chapter or article is complete, it will be time to go back and use your navigating side of the brain to edit and revise.
The third tool is visualization. We've all seen an athlete pause before executing a difficult maneuver. He is visualizing every aspect of what he is about to do.
For the navigator to plan her course, you need an accurate map. The more you know, the better your map will be. That's why education is so important.
You need a steady rudder. That is your determination and drive. Trim your sail to catch the wind. Your sail is your passion, your joy and your vocation.
Most important is your moral compass. Your compass is your conscience. Your compass is based on your values. If you value honesty and loyalty, you won't lie and you won't cheat. You will be loyal to your wife and pass your values on to your kids.
You need a solid anchor in a storm to avoid being washed up on the rocks. Your anchor is the value to place on yourself. It gives you your ability to make difficult decisions and to know you're on the right course even when others disapprove. It allows you to stand up for what you believe, despite any criticism.
Your friends are a great influence on your life. If you choose a mate who is abusive and domineering, your anchor will slip and you are in a world of trouble. If you choose friends who are positive, they will help you achieve. They will be a loyal crew. You can call on when you need help.
How do you make this all work? Write down a personal declaration of you who you are, what you value and what you intend to accomplish with your life. Yes it must be written. When you write down your personal declaration, you are more committed to it and you can come back to review it whenever you need to make an important decision. If the course you set is inconsistent with your values, you either need to revise your values or more probably reset your course.
The bottom line is, if you don't care where you're going any course will get you there. If you want a meaningful life, understand your goals, set your course and put your workhorse to work.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Mind your tiller or meet the rocks
You can control your boat, but you can't control the river. You may be a able to influence other boats on the river, but if you try to force another boat to do what you want you may both end up getting swamped.
The power of the indirect effort says, we cannot change the river; we can only change ourselves. But, the moment we plot a course, we gain control of the river.
You can't rise above the river, but you can use its currents to your advantage. Have you ever noticed that violence begets violence? In martial arts were taught to use the energy of the attacker to defeat the attack.
If someone criticizes you, do you fight back? Is better to evaluate the criticism and apply a course correction where it helps you guide your boat. If your boat is fine, don't fix what isn't broken. Most criticism will be well intended, but it probably won't be helpful. So forget about what people think and set your own course.
There's a flipside of that of course. You can shout at the other boats on the river, but unless they want your advice they will ignore you. Don't offer advice unless you are asked for it and even then, be careful.
We get what we want from the river, indirectly. It's called leadership. Set a good example, understand where you want to go and people who believe in you will follow. Just remember, the course you set will depend on the course set by others you admire. If an experienced water man successfully negotiates the rapids, you'd be wise to follow the course already set.
Unconditional love, can be the most important thing in our lives. That doesn't mean we'll give an alcoholic drink just because he wants it. It does mean, we will offer our support for his efforts to control his boat on the river. When people begin to trust the river and their own skills to master it, they may look for the roughest white-water they can find and enjoy the thrill of being able to master the torrents. Just be sure you don't underestimate the river or over estimate your skills. When a kayaker gets flipped, the most important skill he has is the ability to right himself. Consider failure a learning experience, know how to recover then make sure you are ready for the river's next challenge.
Stop worrying about things you can't control on the river. The river is not meant to be controlled; it's meant to be ridden. So sit back, and enjoy your ride.
The power of the indirect effort says, we cannot change the river; we can only change ourselves. But, the moment we plot a course, we gain control of the river.
You can't rise above the river, but you can use its currents to your advantage. Have you ever noticed that violence begets violence? In martial arts were taught to use the energy of the attacker to defeat the attack.
If someone criticizes you, do you fight back? Is better to evaluate the criticism and apply a course correction where it helps you guide your boat. If your boat is fine, don't fix what isn't broken. Most criticism will be well intended, but it probably won't be helpful. So forget about what people think and set your own course.
There's a flipside of that of course. You can shout at the other boats on the river, but unless they want your advice they will ignore you. Don't offer advice unless you are asked for it and even then, be careful.
We get what we want from the river, indirectly. It's called leadership. Set a good example, understand where you want to go and people who believe in you will follow. Just remember, the course you set will depend on the course set by others you admire. If an experienced water man successfully negotiates the rapids, you'd be wise to follow the course already set.
Unconditional love, can be the most important thing in our lives. That doesn't mean we'll give an alcoholic drink just because he wants it. It does mean, we will offer our support for his efforts to control his boat on the river. When people begin to trust the river and their own skills to master it, they may look for the roughest white-water they can find and enjoy the thrill of being able to master the torrents. Just be sure you don't underestimate the river or over estimate your skills. When a kayaker gets flipped, the most important skill he has is the ability to right himself. Consider failure a learning experience, know how to recover then make sure you are ready for the river's next challenge.
Stop worrying about things you can't control on the river. The river is not meant to be controlled; it's meant to be ridden. So sit back, and enjoy your ride.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
The Power of Indirect Action
Mind your tiller or meet the rocks
You can control your boat, but you can't control the river. You may be a able to influence other boats on the river, but if you try to force another boat to do what you want you may both end up getting swamped.
The power of the indirect effort says, we cannot change your view river we can only change ourselves.. But, the moment we plot a course, we gain control of the river.
You can't rise above the river, but you can use its currents to our advantage. Have you ever noticed that violence begets violence? In martial arts were taught to use the energy of the attacker to defeat the attack.
If someone criticizes you, do you fight back? Is better to evaluate the criticism and apply a course correction where it helps you guide your boat. If your boat is fine, don't fix what isn't broken. Most criticism will be well intended, but it probably won't be helpful. So forget about what people think and set your own course.
There's a flipside of that of course. You can shout at the other boats on the river, but unless they want your advice. They will ignore you. Don't offer advice unless you are asked for it.
We get what we want from the river, indirectly. It's called leadership. Set a good example, understand where you want to go and people who believe in you will follow. Just remember that the course you set, will depend on the course others you admire have set for themselves. If an experienced water man successfully negotiates the rapids, you'd be wise to follow the course already set.
Unconditional love, can be the most important thing in our lives. That doesn't mean we'll give an alcoholic drink just because he wants it. It does mean, we will offer our support for his efforts to control his boat on the river. When people begin to trust the river and their own skills to master it,they may look for the roughest white-water they can find and enjoy the thrill of being able to master the torrents. Just be sure you don't underestimate the river or over estimate your skills. When a kayaker gets flipped, the most important skill he has is the ability to right himself. Consider failure a learning experience, know how to recover when you need to and seek the rivers next challenge.
Stop worrying about things you can't control on the river. The river is not meant to be controlled; it's meant to be ridden. So sit back, and enjoy your ride.
You can control your boat, but you can't control the river. You may be a able to influence other boats on the river, but if you try to force another boat to do what you want you may both end up getting swamped.
The power of the indirect effort says, we cannot change your view river we can only change ourselves.. But, the moment we plot a course, we gain control of the river.
You can't rise above the river, but you can use its currents to our advantage. Have you ever noticed that violence begets violence? In martial arts were taught to use the energy of the attacker to defeat the attack.
If someone criticizes you, do you fight back? Is better to evaluate the criticism and apply a course correction where it helps you guide your boat. If your boat is fine, don't fix what isn't broken. Most criticism will be well intended, but it probably won't be helpful. So forget about what people think and set your own course.
There's a flipside of that of course. You can shout at the other boats on the river, but unless they want your advice. They will ignore you. Don't offer advice unless you are asked for it.
We get what we want from the river, indirectly. It's called leadership. Set a good example, understand where you want to go and people who believe in you will follow. Just remember that the course you set, will depend on the course others you admire have set for themselves. If an experienced water man successfully negotiates the rapids, you'd be wise to follow the course already set.
Unconditional love, can be the most important thing in our lives. That doesn't mean we'll give an alcoholic drink just because he wants it. It does mean, we will offer our support for his efforts to control his boat on the river. When people begin to trust the river and their own skills to master it,they may look for the roughest white-water they can find and enjoy the thrill of being able to master the torrents. Just be sure you don't underestimate the river or over estimate your skills. When a kayaker gets flipped, the most important skill he has is the ability to right himself. Consider failure a learning experience, know how to recover when you need to and seek the rivers next challenge.
Stop worrying about things you can't control on the river. The river is not meant to be controlled; it's meant to be ridden. So sit back, and enjoy your ride.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Neighbors can rock your boat
I have a neighbor who is giving my wife a hard time. Nancy wants plants on our fence, not only because they're pretty, but because it helps to block our view of our neighbor’s messy yard. Over the years, the flower boxes kept getting knocked off the fence. I figured a cat was doing the damage, so wired the boxes to the fence to prevent an animal from knocking them off. Recently, the planter was knocked off the wall again. I realized it was our neighbor who was doing the damage.
Nancy had been watering the plants using the hose. Our neighbor objects to water sprinkling on his side of the fence. Recently, he has been cursing Nancy when she tries to water the plants.
Now, I don't take kindly to anyone who is impolite or rude to my wife, and I know this man as a wife beater and bully. I tried to tell him that his behavior was inappropriate, and if he couldn't be polite to my wife he should ignore her and talk to me. He proceeded to scream, holler and cursed at me.
Now, I figure he's a lonely, sad old man floating in a very rocky boat. His attitude is creating some very serious rapids in our lives.
Obviously, I couldn't communicate with him while he was screaming at me, so I simply wrote him a letter telling him that his behavior was unacceptable. But, we can continue to be good neighbors if we just treat each other politely.
In this case, we definitely were not speaking the same language; sure, we were both speaking English, but we weren't understanding each other. In this case, a letter documenting what I expected and what I will do to mitigate his complaints was probably the best way of communicating.
I can't control his boat. I can only control my own. I had to look at the causes and effects of our problem. Nancy wants plants on our wall and she gets water on his side of the fence when she waters her plants. He objects to water coming onto his property.
What to do? First, I bought Nancy a hose and a watering wand that will give her more control. The objective is to minimize any sprinkles that might get on my neighbor's side of the fence. I also built a couple of flower planter boxes that will be very difficult for him to knock off the fence. I designed the boxes with a splash back that should keep water from his side of the fence.
I've done my best to eliminate the cause of his anger. Now, our path on the river is up to him. Our river can flow smoothly, or he can whip it into dangerous rapids.
I've tried to apply two rules for navigating life. Rule one says, look to your own boat; understand cause and effect and trim your boat to handle whatever the river throws at you. Rule two says, if you want to communicate you have to speak the same language. Even if you are speaking the same language, you're not communicating unless everyone is willing to listen. Sometimes the best way of communicating is to put what you want to say in writing. Just be sure that what you say is positive and does not contain a threat. Threats, put in writing, can have serious legal consequences.
Nancy had been watering the plants using the hose. Our neighbor objects to water sprinkling on his side of the fence. Recently, he has been cursing Nancy when she tries to water the plants.
Now, I don't take kindly to anyone who is impolite or rude to my wife, and I know this man as a wife beater and bully. I tried to tell him that his behavior was inappropriate, and if he couldn't be polite to my wife he should ignore her and talk to me. He proceeded to scream, holler and cursed at me.
Now, I figure he's a lonely, sad old man floating in a very rocky boat. His attitude is creating some very serious rapids in our lives.
Obviously, I couldn't communicate with him while he was screaming at me, so I simply wrote him a letter telling him that his behavior was unacceptable. But, we can continue to be good neighbors if we just treat each other politely.
In this case, we definitely were not speaking the same language; sure, we were both speaking English, but we weren't understanding each other. In this case, a letter documenting what I expected and what I will do to mitigate his complaints was probably the best way of communicating.
I can't control his boat. I can only control my own. I had to look at the causes and effects of our problem. Nancy wants plants on our wall and she gets water on his side of the fence when she waters her plants. He objects to water coming onto his property.
What to do? First, I bought Nancy a hose and a watering wand that will give her more control. The objective is to minimize any sprinkles that might get on my neighbor's side of the fence. I also built a couple of flower planter boxes that will be very difficult for him to knock off the fence. I designed the boxes with a splash back that should keep water from his side of the fence.
I've done my best to eliminate the cause of his anger. Now, our path on the river is up to him. Our river can flow smoothly, or he can whip it into dangerous rapids.
I've tried to apply two rules for navigating life. Rule one says, look to your own boat; understand cause and effect and trim your boat to handle whatever the river throws at you. Rule two says, if you want to communicate you have to speak the same language. Even if you are speaking the same language, you're not communicating unless everyone is willing to listen. Sometimes the best way of communicating is to put what you want to say in writing. Just be sure that what you say is positive and does not contain a threat. Threats, put in writing, can have serious legal consequences.
Friday, May 23, 2008
What's the difference between one million and one trillion?
Well, let's get a sense of how much one million is before we tackle a trillion. There are 60 minutes in an hour, 1440 minutes in a day, and 525,600 minutes in a year. Double 525,600 and you get 1,051,200. In other words, one million minutes is 35 days less than two years. If you took your age and divided it in two, you'd know about how many million minutes you've been alive. Now, the difference between a million and a billion is three more zeros. So, a million minutes takes about 2 years, a billion minutes takes about 2,000 years, and a trillion minutes takes about 200,000,000 years. That's a big difference. Think about that difference the next time you hear people discussing the U.S Federal budget.
Friday, April 25, 2008
You'll find a new feature on Navigating Life's main website: a free personality test
I've gotten tired of the free personality tests offered on so many websites.
They either lead you on by letting you answer the questions and then ask for payments or memberships before they'll send you the results, or they barrage you with so many advertisements before you get to the actual test that you begin to wonder if the advertisements are part of the test.
My solution? I wrote a personality test of my own. I've worked to make it accurate, easy, fun and informative. It's ready for testing. I call it "Navigating Life's Two Question Personality Test." Please let me know what you think.
You will find it on Navigating Life's main website, in the galley. Or you can simply click on this link. My only request is that if you enjoy the test, please pass the link on to any friends that you think might enjoy it as well.
They either lead you on by letting you answer the questions and then ask for payments or memberships before they'll send you the results, or they barrage you with so many advertisements before you get to the actual test that you begin to wonder if the advertisements are part of the test.
My solution? I wrote a personality test of my own. I've worked to make it accurate, easy, fun and informative. It's ready for testing. I call it "Navigating Life's Two Question Personality Test." Please let me know what you think.
You will find it on Navigating Life's main website, in the galley. Or you can simply click on this link. My only request is that if you enjoy the test, please pass the link on to any friends that you think might enjoy it as well.
Friday, April 18, 2008
I don't know how it's going to happen...Posted by Niki
I don't know how it's going to happen. But what I need to figure out is how to stay in L.A. I have a wedding to go to in August, in Hawaii. I'm from Hawaii; I'm attending my brother's wedding. Sounds amazing right? But before I leave, I need to make at the very least two thousand dollars to insure my staying in LA. Sounds easy enough...
However, with only an Arts Associates degree, I've been stuck working at Blockbuster, spending eight hours of my time for only eight fifty per hour--student loans ringing in my ears.
I don't know why I am writing this...
I am just a little paranoid that I won't be able to make enough to support myself and stay in L.A. If I don't find way to support myself, I will be stuck in Hawai`i. I know what you're going to say. "You will be STUCK in Hawaii? I wish that I could be stuck in Hawaii!" Don't get me wrong, Hawaii is my home, and I love it. However, Hawaii can't help me accomplish my dreams...
Okay...So I guess I don't really have a question to ask. If I did, my question would be, how to be independent in life. Yet, I already have the answer, a very blunt "Shut up! And do what you gotta do! Everyone has to go through trials; it's called growing up..." That voice comes into the back of my mind when I start getting paranoid and worried about how to accomplish my dreams...
Then I watch a movie about living life rather than pursuing a career, and I wonder, "Is the career I am chasing really worth it when I know that I have Hawaii anytime I want; I can grow old, fat and happy? I don't know. I turned twenty and the questions to life, I so want answered now, seem to be taking forever...
However, with only an Arts Associates degree, I've been stuck working at Blockbuster, spending eight hours of my time for only eight fifty per hour--student loans ringing in my ears.
I don't know why I am writing this...
I am just a little paranoid that I won't be able to make enough to support myself and stay in L.A. If I don't find way to support myself, I will be stuck in Hawai`i. I know what you're going to say. "You will be STUCK in Hawaii? I wish that I could be stuck in Hawaii!" Don't get me wrong, Hawaii is my home, and I love it. However, Hawaii can't help me accomplish my dreams...
Okay...So I guess I don't really have a question to ask. If I did, my question would be, how to be independent in life. Yet, I already have the answer, a very blunt "Shut up! And do what you gotta do! Everyone has to go through trials; it's called growing up..." That voice comes into the back of my mind when I start getting paranoid and worried about how to accomplish my dreams...
Then I watch a movie about living life rather than pursuing a career, and I wonder, "Is the career I am chasing really worth it when I know that I have Hawaii anytime I want; I can grow old, fat and happy? I don't know. I turned twenty and the questions to life, I so want answered now, seem to be taking forever...
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Stop Feeling Defensive and Reflect...
I often ask my clients to listen to reality television and talk shows featuring troubled relationships. I like them to listen carefully to what people are saying, using a principle called reflection. This principle simply states that what people think, see, and say about others reflects their personal and sometimes limiting belief systems. In other words, what people say about others, says everything about them.
We all have belief systems; habitual patters of thought and behavior that color our actions and in inform our world. Many problems, both personal and communal, can be traced to limiting and/or conflicting belief systems. Clients can only improve their lives after they have become aware of any limiting belief systems and learned to expand them. Unfortunately, most people are so attached to their beliefs that they can't really see past them, let alone question them. While teaching this principle to my clients, I find that nearly all of them immediate see its significance, but few actively use it on themselves and it can be dangerous for them to use it on their relationships until they have done so. Hence, I have come up with a way for them to practice safely, using reality television.
Following my own advice, I recently watched a talk show featuring a family of five. The children and father had "turned in" their mother for perfectionism. They wanted her to "loosen-up" a little and not be so "militant" with the house keeping. The show played a tape of a typical morning, wherein the son was made to remake his bed twice in order to meet his mom's high standards and each pillow had to be placed and fluffed "just so." When asked about her behavior the mother declared, "I'm just trying to show my kids that there is a right way of doing things...I want them to get used to what it's like in the real world...there is always somebody looking over your shoulder."
Wow, this woman believes that there is only one right way of doing things. This woman always feels that someone is looking over her shoulder. This woman never questions what she perceives to be the real world. No wonder she is driving her family and herself crazy. I'd go crazy too if I lived in a world where there was only one right way of doing things, and somebody was always looking over my shoulder. Reflection makes so many troubling perspectives clear.
How can you use reflection to clarify your life?
The next time you feel upset by what someone says about you, remember that what people say about you is never an accurate reflection of you. What people say about you is really a reflection of them. When people complain about you, they are really saying something about who they are and what they believe. Their words are clues to the struggles that they are having inside. So instead of just hearing the words that others use and instantly feeling defensive, you should try to listen to the messages behind their words. When you understand what others believe and intend, you can act upon their intentions with understanding. In fact, once you truly incorporate this principle into your belief system, you will no longer get defensive because you will know that people are never talking about you; words invariably reflect more about the speaker than the one spoken of.
And whenever you are frustrated with someone else, remember that any frustration you feel is usually a reflection of something lost inside of you, something that wants to be made whole. Make yourself whole, and the frustration goes away. Follow this rule, and you will actually begin to see life's frustrations as divine gifts designed to help you understand yourself. In other words, listen to what you say about others. What you say about others says everything about you...
We all have belief systems; habitual patters of thought and behavior that color our actions and in inform our world. Many problems, both personal and communal, can be traced to limiting and/or conflicting belief systems. Clients can only improve their lives after they have become aware of any limiting belief systems and learned to expand them. Unfortunately, most people are so attached to their beliefs that they can't really see past them, let alone question them. While teaching this principle to my clients, I find that nearly all of them immediate see its significance, but few actively use it on themselves and it can be dangerous for them to use it on their relationships until they have done so. Hence, I have come up with a way for them to practice safely, using reality television.
Following my own advice, I recently watched a talk show featuring a family of five. The children and father had "turned in" their mother for perfectionism. They wanted her to "loosen-up" a little and not be so "militant" with the house keeping. The show played a tape of a typical morning, wherein the son was made to remake his bed twice in order to meet his mom's high standards and each pillow had to be placed and fluffed "just so." When asked about her behavior the mother declared, "I'm just trying to show my kids that there is a right way of doing things...I want them to get used to what it's like in the real world...there is always somebody looking over your shoulder."
Wow, this woman believes that there is only one right way of doing things. This woman always feels that someone is looking over her shoulder. This woman never questions what she perceives to be the real world. No wonder she is driving her family and herself crazy. I'd go crazy too if I lived in a world where there was only one right way of doing things, and somebody was always looking over my shoulder. Reflection makes so many troubling perspectives clear.
How can you use reflection to clarify your life?
The next time you feel upset by what someone says about you, remember that what people say about you is never an accurate reflection of you. What people say about you is really a reflection of them. When people complain about you, they are really saying something about who they are and what they believe. Their words are clues to the struggles that they are having inside. So instead of just hearing the words that others use and instantly feeling defensive, you should try to listen to the messages behind their words. When you understand what others believe and intend, you can act upon their intentions with understanding. In fact, once you truly incorporate this principle into your belief system, you will no longer get defensive because you will know that people are never talking about you; words invariably reflect more about the speaker than the one spoken of.
And whenever you are frustrated with someone else, remember that any frustration you feel is usually a reflection of something lost inside of you, something that wants to be made whole. Make yourself whole, and the frustration goes away. Follow this rule, and you will actually begin to see life's frustrations as divine gifts designed to help you understand yourself. In other words, listen to what you say about others. What you say about others says everything about you...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
A fable about holding on...
Once upon a time, there were three little eggs in a nest. The biggest egg hatched first. Out of the shell struggled a chick full of determination and drive. Within minutes of his hatching, this brave little chick was already flexing his wings, looking forward to the great day of his first flight. All night he worked hard, pumping his wings so that by the time his two siblings hatched a day later, he was by far the strongest of the three. His determination never left him. While the other two exercised, he exercised. While the other two basked, he exercised. While the other two played, he exercised. Soon his wings were full grown and strong, so he was quite surprised when his middle brother flew off before him and never returned to the nest. “How is it that my brother can fly away, but I can’t? My wings are every bit as strong as his. Indeed my wings are stronger than his.”
He became more determined to fly than ever. While his youngest brother exercised, he exercised. While his youngest brother basked, he exercised. While his youngest brother played, he exercised. While his youngest brother slept, he exercised! His wings became even more glorious, bright and strong. "Surely any minute," he thought to himself, "I will fly." Yet, try as he might, he could not gain height.
He was dumfounded when the next day his youngest brother rose into the air and flew away before him. He might have stayed in that nest flexing his wings until the end of his life, had his youngest sibling not taken pity and returned with some parting advice. “Your wings are strong. They will take you far, but first you have to let go of the nest.”
Too often we have the tools we need to take flight, but we fail to launch because our fears keep us clinging to what we know...
He became more determined to fly than ever. While his youngest brother exercised, he exercised. While his youngest brother basked, he exercised. While his youngest brother played, he exercised. While his youngest brother slept, he exercised! His wings became even more glorious, bright and strong. "Surely any minute," he thought to himself, "I will fly." Yet, try as he might, he could not gain height.
He was dumfounded when the next day his youngest brother rose into the air and flew away before him. He might have stayed in that nest flexing his wings until the end of his life, had his youngest sibling not taken pity and returned with some parting advice. “Your wings are strong. They will take you far, but first you have to let go of the nest.”
Too often we have the tools we need to take flight, but we fail to launch because our fears keep us clinging to what we know...
Monday, April 14, 2008
Something to consider if people don't always listen to you...
Whenever people discover that I teach classes in effective listening, they immediately joke about signing up their spouses, their kids, their co-workers and their bosses. They hardly ever suggest signing up themselves; however, the principles of effective listening suggest that when people complain about others not listening to them, they've probably not been listening very effectively to others. And I bet that you can guess how many people welcome that idea when it's brought to their attention.
Communication is circular. We usually send a message because we're hoping for a certain response. But too often we don't consider how our messages must be sent to insure that we get our desired response. We just start talking, and then we get frustrated whenever people don't react as we'd like. We fail to say what we mean, and then we fight over whatever we said. We can listen to people so long as we agree with them; but the moment we disagree, we stop listening and start defending our perspective. However, effective communication is not about agreeing; it's about understanding.
The word communication is derived from the Latin word for "common." In other words, communication is the ability to bring separate minds together in a common understanding. Whenever we sincerely communicate with people, we create rapport. What is rapport? The dictionary defines it as, "a connection between people, an affinity, a harmonious, or sympathetic relationship." But too often, people use communication to prove a point, not to create rapport, affinity and understanding. Without understanding, effective communication is impossible.
In order to reach understandings, people need to examine how they define understanding. Too many people confuse understanding with passing judgment. Like the time one of my students told me how well she understood her ex-husband.
"Oh, I understand him alright," she assured me; and to prove herself right, she began to rattle off a list of his sins. "He's egotistical, selfish, uneducated, uncaring, immature, irresponsible and lazy."
"If you were to say those things to his face," I asked, "Do you think that he would feel understood?"
"Probably not."
In truth, when people don't feel understood by you, by definition you haven't understood them. True understanding only occurs when the people around you actually feel understood. Moreover, most people disregard opinions coming from anyone that they feel misunderstands them, so if you ever want to become persuasive, perhaps you should learn the techniques of effective listening. Your ability to listen effectively can help people listen to you...
Communication is circular. We usually send a message because we're hoping for a certain response. But too often we don't consider how our messages must be sent to insure that we get our desired response. We just start talking, and then we get frustrated whenever people don't react as we'd like. We fail to say what we mean, and then we fight over whatever we said. We can listen to people so long as we agree with them; but the moment we disagree, we stop listening and start defending our perspective. However, effective communication is not about agreeing; it's about understanding.
The word communication is derived from the Latin word for "common." In other words, communication is the ability to bring separate minds together in a common understanding. Whenever we sincerely communicate with people, we create rapport. What is rapport? The dictionary defines it as, "a connection between people, an affinity, a harmonious, or sympathetic relationship." But too often, people use communication to prove a point, not to create rapport, affinity and understanding. Without understanding, effective communication is impossible.
In order to reach understandings, people need to examine how they define understanding. Too many people confuse understanding with passing judgment. Like the time one of my students told me how well she understood her ex-husband.
"Oh, I understand him alright," she assured me; and to prove herself right, she began to rattle off a list of his sins. "He's egotistical, selfish, uneducated, uncaring, immature, irresponsible and lazy."
"If you were to say those things to his face," I asked, "Do you think that he would feel understood?"
"Probably not."
In truth, when people don't feel understood by you, by definition you haven't understood them. True understanding only occurs when the people around you actually feel understood. Moreover, most people disregard opinions coming from anyone that they feel misunderstands them, so if you ever want to become persuasive, perhaps you should learn the techniques of effective listening. Your ability to listen effectively can help people listen to you...
What Happens When Rewards Are Perceived As Punishments...
I remember my second visit to Bosnia. It was in the winter of 1997. Unlike Hillary, I don't remember sniper fire and I will not "miss-speak," or in this case "miss-write" my recollections. I do remember learning that when people are rewarded with what they perceive as a punishment, you can expect to be bit in your proverbial "arss-in-all."
First a little background. I am no soldier or hero. I simply volunteered to participate in the Department of Defense's Overseas Show program. This is a little publicized branch of the military that simply seeks to provide some basic and inexpensive back home entertainment for troops who live outside of the country. Unlike the USO, volunteers live, travel, sleep, and eat with the soldiers. I went on four tours, and each time I realized that the comedy shows we did were not nearly as important as our simply bringing new faces to lonely, isolated, and hardworking camps. Amazingly, these soldiers always treated us like heroes.
Bosnia in the winter of 1997 was the worst of our tours, and the most profound. Worst because Bosnia in winter is a very cold place, particularly when you are asked to sleep in a "tent city" where every space heater has to be shut off before people go to sleep. Space heaters in tents are considered a fire hazard. We were snowed in at one camp for three days, and we did a show every night. Our improvisational comedy was particularly appreciated because we kept incorporating the water dripping through the leaky roof of our "stage." Each night, I lived through the most uncomfortable "rests" of my life, asking myself to sleep but being too cold to relax and too warm to die. I remember thinking that hell was not full of fire, but full of a painful cold that would never end. I only suffered through three nights of this torture; the soldiers around me were looking at six months. I remember how in the next camp, we were assigned rooms in a once condemned but recently reclaimed building. We danced through the decaying plaster as if we had found a warm haven in heaven.
One night, after a show, one of the soldiers made a comment that I will never forget. He said, "You have to be careful about doing a good job around here, or they will stick you with another year's tour."
So what does my story have to do with you?
Too often leaders reward people's work with an expectation of more work without more reward. Even worse, we often punish the very actions we should be rewarding. During a lecture on rewards and punishments, I once had a student raise his hand to say, "That's so true. Whenever I help out at home, I just get asked to do more. The more I help, the more I get asked to do. It's gotten so I don't volunteer for anything. The other day, my aunt's gardener got sick and couldn't make his weekly visit, so I decided to help out with the lawn. I spent all weekend cleaning and mowing. Do you know how my aunt rewarded me? She fired the gardener, and made the yard my responsibility."
Don't punish people who are doing well by expecting even more. Whenever we ask for help, get help, and instantly expect more help, we punish the very actions that we want repeated. The bottom line of this article is simply this...if you don't like what people have been giving you; you should examine what you might have been inadvertently rewarding...
First a little background. I am no soldier or hero. I simply volunteered to participate in the Department of Defense's Overseas Show program. This is a little publicized branch of the military that simply seeks to provide some basic and inexpensive back home entertainment for troops who live outside of the country. Unlike the USO, volunteers live, travel, sleep, and eat with the soldiers. I went on four tours, and each time I realized that the comedy shows we did were not nearly as important as our simply bringing new faces to lonely, isolated, and hardworking camps. Amazingly, these soldiers always treated us like heroes.
Bosnia in the winter of 1997 was the worst of our tours, and the most profound. Worst because Bosnia in winter is a very cold place, particularly when you are asked to sleep in a "tent city" where every space heater has to be shut off before people go to sleep. Space heaters in tents are considered a fire hazard. We were snowed in at one camp for three days, and we did a show every night. Our improvisational comedy was particularly appreciated because we kept incorporating the water dripping through the leaky roof of our "stage." Each night, I lived through the most uncomfortable "rests" of my life, asking myself to sleep but being too cold to relax and too warm to die. I remember thinking that hell was not full of fire, but full of a painful cold that would never end. I only suffered through three nights of this torture; the soldiers around me were looking at six months. I remember how in the next camp, we were assigned rooms in a once condemned but recently reclaimed building. We danced through the decaying plaster as if we had found a warm haven in heaven.
One night, after a show, one of the soldiers made a comment that I will never forget. He said, "You have to be careful about doing a good job around here, or they will stick you with another year's tour."
So what does my story have to do with you?
Too often leaders reward people's work with an expectation of more work without more reward. Even worse, we often punish the very actions we should be rewarding. During a lecture on rewards and punishments, I once had a student raise his hand to say, "That's so true. Whenever I help out at home, I just get asked to do more. The more I help, the more I get asked to do. It's gotten so I don't volunteer for anything. The other day, my aunt's gardener got sick and couldn't make his weekly visit, so I decided to help out with the lawn. I spent all weekend cleaning and mowing. Do you know how my aunt rewarded me? She fired the gardener, and made the yard my responsibility."
Don't punish people who are doing well by expecting even more. Whenever we ask for help, get help, and instantly expect more help, we punish the very actions that we want repeated. The bottom line of this article is simply this...if you don't like what people have been giving you; you should examine what you might have been inadvertently rewarding...
Monday, March 10, 2008
Common sense choices are not always your best choice.
In fact, Albert Einstein once claimed that common sense is just the collections of prejudices that we acquire by the age of eighteen. I have to admit that I agree with him whole-heartedly. Too often, what people call “common sense” is a failure to understand another's point of view, or an inability to think outside of the box.
Obviously, common sense is not all bad. Common sense tells me to not step in front of a moving car. Common sense tells me that if I put my hand on a hot stove I will get burned. I don’t think that I will question the accuracy of my “common sense” in order to test those beliefs. However, many beliefs that we fail to question -- believing they are common sense -- can actually signal a failure to expand a limiting belief system. Here are a few humorous examples of some famous people who failed to think outside of their own limited boxes and ended up going down in history as somewhat foolish men.
_____* In 1899, the director of the US Patent office, Charles H. Duell, is said to have announced, “Everything that can be invented has been invented.”
_____* In 1905, President Grover Cleveland once commented, “Sensible women do not want to vote.”
_____* In 1923, Robert Miliken, Nobel Prize winner for physics, claimed, “There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom.”
_____* In 1885, Lord Kelvin, president of England’s Royal Society—a scientific organizing, make the assertion, “Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
_____* In 1921, baseball great Tris Speaker is quoted as saying, “(Babe) Ruth make a big mistake when he gave up pitching.”
It seems that we humans can begin to sound foolish when we trust our “common sense” without question and fail to ever look outside the boxes of our own perception. So here is my question, “How well do you think outside of the box?” Here is a riddle that I often give my students in order to demonstrate the human tendency to think inside of the same old patterns. Try to connect all nine dots with only four straight lines while not lifting your pencil. And yes, you are allowed to cross the same dot twice.
Hint: You will never get it right unless you can think outside of the box. If you would like to view the official answer, click here...
Good luck, and let me know how you do...
Obviously, common sense is not all bad. Common sense tells me to not step in front of a moving car. Common sense tells me that if I put my hand on a hot stove I will get burned. I don’t think that I will question the accuracy of my “common sense” in order to test those beliefs. However, many beliefs that we fail to question -- believing they are common sense -- can actually signal a failure to expand a limiting belief system. Here are a few humorous examples of some famous people who failed to think outside of their own limited boxes and ended up going down in history as somewhat foolish men.
_____* In 1899, the director of the US Patent office, Charles H. Duell, is said to have announced, “Everything that can be invented has been invented.”
_____* In 1905, President Grover Cleveland once commented, “Sensible women do not want to vote.”
_____* In 1923, Robert Miliken, Nobel Prize winner for physics, claimed, “There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom.”
_____* In 1885, Lord Kelvin, president of England’s Royal Society—a scientific organizing, make the assertion, “Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
_____* In 1921, baseball great Tris Speaker is quoted as saying, “(Babe) Ruth make a big mistake when he gave up pitching.”
It seems that we humans can begin to sound foolish when we trust our “common sense” without question and fail to ever look outside the boxes of our own perception. So here is my question, “How well do you think outside of the box?” Here is a riddle that I often give my students in order to demonstrate the human tendency to think inside of the same old patterns. Try to connect all nine dots with only four straight lines while not lifting your pencil. And yes, you are allowed to cross the same dot twice.
Hint: You will never get it right unless you can think outside of the box. If you would like to view the official answer, click here...
Good luck, and let me know how you do...
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Can you pass a quiz that over eight percent of its takers fail?
I have posted an intellect quiz on my main website. Give it a try, and tell me if you pass or fail. Here is a direct link...
Friday, February 15, 2008
What are MASTERed Goals?
I have been teaching goal setting for over ten years. Some of my students "get it" right away, and immediately begin to see their goals transform their lives. However, too often my students think they "get it," but still fail to MASTER their goals.
I developed MASTERed goals while teaching the concept of SMART goals. SMART stood for: Specific, Measurable, Accountable, Realistic, and Timely. You can find "SMART" goal articles all across the Internet, but I found that something was missing and decided to teach MASTERed goals instead. MASTER stands for:
Measurable - you need a measurable amount, which you can check off when done
Accountable - nothing but you should affect your ability to accomplish your goal
Specific - make it a specific action that you can realistically accomplish
Timely - give yourself enough time, but not too much time
Exciting - you should feel excited and empowered when you read your goals
Realistic - you should know that you can actually accomplish your goal
Do you notice the difference between SMART and MASTERed? It's the letter E, and the word is exciting.
Your goals should excite you and not feel like punishments. When you MASTER a goal, you start with a dream and work backwards. Once you have identified your dream, you identify the specific and measurable actions that you can realistically take, and over which you have total control, by which you can achieve your dream.
Telling yourself to "find a better job," is not something you control, and therefore you are not accountable. Telling yourself to "apply to five jobs on my next day off," is something you can control, and therefore you are accountable. Next ask yourself, is that realistic? Can you apply to five jobs in one day, or perhaps one job application is enough?
Telling yourself to "lose ten pounds," is not something you control, and therefore you are not accountable. Telling yourself to "eat eight helpings of produce daily and take a daily walk," is something you can control, and therefore you are accountable.
MASTERed goals are not wishes or objectives, they are the specific and measured actions that you can realistically take, and over which you have total control, by which you will achieve your exciting objective. They should make you feel empowered, not overwhelmed.
"Be Happy," becomes "I will do one thing today that makes me happy."
Did you do something today that made you happy? If not, you have not MASTERed happiness as a goal.
I developed MASTERed goals while teaching the concept of SMART goals. SMART stood for: Specific, Measurable, Accountable, Realistic, and Timely. You can find "SMART" goal articles all across the Internet, but I found that something was missing and decided to teach MASTERed goals instead. MASTER stands for:
Measurable - you need a measurable amount, which you can check off when done
Accountable - nothing but you should affect your ability to accomplish your goal
Specific - make it a specific action that you can realistically accomplish
Timely - give yourself enough time, but not too much time
Exciting - you should feel excited and empowered when you read your goals
Realistic - you should know that you can actually accomplish your goal
Do you notice the difference between SMART and MASTERed? It's the letter E, and the word is exciting.
Your goals should excite you and not feel like punishments. When you MASTER a goal, you start with a dream and work backwards. Once you have identified your dream, you identify the specific and measurable actions that you can realistically take, and over which you have total control, by which you can achieve your dream.
Telling yourself to "find a better job," is not something you control, and therefore you are not accountable. Telling yourself to "apply to five jobs on my next day off," is something you can control, and therefore you are accountable. Next ask yourself, is that realistic? Can you apply to five jobs in one day, or perhaps one job application is enough?
Telling yourself to "lose ten pounds," is not something you control, and therefore you are not accountable. Telling yourself to "eat eight helpings of produce daily and take a daily walk," is something you can control, and therefore you are accountable.
MASTERed goals are not wishes or objectives, they are the specific and measured actions that you can realistically take, and over which you have total control, by which you will achieve your exciting objective. They should make you feel empowered, not overwhelmed.
"Be Happy," becomes "I will do one thing today that makes me happy."
Did you do something today that made you happy? If not, you have not MASTERed happiness as a goal.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Are these Mastered goals?
Been here in LA for going on eight months and it had occured to me that i haven't been doing all that i can do to accomplish my dreams...
These are my mastered goals... Am i going in the right direction?
*Find more than one Job...
*Get money to afford a drivers school...
*Join a Driver's School, or figure out how to get my liscence without having to depend on others because its my responsibilty and no one else's...
*After this play is finished i am making sure that i have nothing limiting me from working...
*Save my money! so by the end of six months and by the end of this strike i can have enough money to live... and be a working actor...
*Buy Postcards and more headshots, so i may send out to casting directors and agents, so i may target...
*Take audition classess
*take workshop classess, after i send out the postcards and things, so casting directors start to recognize me...
*Take MOre acting classess...
*above all get my liscence one way or another... because that is the only things stopping me...
*once i get my liscence figure out how to get into EXTRA work, so i may see how things work on a set...
*Continue to Target
*NO spending money on movies!
*No going out!
*get to the point where i may go to auditions where i don't have to cancel any auditions, and make them on my own...
*audtion! audition! Audition!
*Buy a Guitar, work on my music...
*BE HAPPY!!!
Those are the mastered goals that i feel i might have to accomplish in order to reach my dreams... Are these right?
niki
These are my mastered goals... Am i going in the right direction?
*Find more than one Job...
*Get money to afford a drivers school...
*Join a Driver's School, or figure out how to get my liscence without having to depend on others because its my responsibilty and no one else's...
*After this play is finished i am making sure that i have nothing limiting me from working...
*Save my money! so by the end of six months and by the end of this strike i can have enough money to live... and be a working actor...
*Buy Postcards and more headshots, so i may send out to casting directors and agents, so i may target...
*Take audition classess
*take workshop classess, after i send out the postcards and things, so casting directors start to recognize me...
*Take MOre acting classess...
*above all get my liscence one way or another... because that is the only things stopping me...
*once i get my liscence figure out how to get into EXTRA work, so i may see how things work on a set...
*Continue to Target
*NO spending money on movies!
*No going out!
*get to the point where i may go to auditions where i don't have to cancel any auditions, and make them on my own...
*audtion! audition! Audition!
*Buy a Guitar, work on my music...
*BE HAPPY!!!
Those are the mastered goals that i feel i might have to accomplish in order to reach my dreams... Are these right?
niki
Sunday, January 27, 2008
A shortcut to the tables on personality...
A few of my visitors have expressed trouble finding the tables on personality mention in my recent internet article, so I wanted to post a direct link here. www.navigatinglife.org/differentstrokesfordifferentfolks
Once there, you will find links on the top of the page which take you to the different personality tables.
Hope it helps...
Once there, you will find links on the top of the page which take you to the different personality tables.
Hope it helps...
Friday, January 11, 2008
A few words on advice...
One of my favorite moments in Alexandre Dumas's Three Musketeers, or was it Twenty Years After, is when Athos essentially tells D'Artagnan, "I make it a policy to never give advice unless someone asks for it three times. Even then they seldom want, or heed it."
Such good advice to those who love to give advice...
Here is what A River Worth Riding advises about offering advice:
Offering advice, when advice has not been specifically asked for, creates frustration and animosity between people. The dreaded phrase, “Well, if I were you, I would…” will more likely cause eyes to roll than hearts to open. Remember: You are not me. You do not know everything about me. So you do not need to offer me your advice, unless I ask for that advice, regarding what you would do if you were me. Keep your advice to yourself, and I promise to give you the same courtesy.
Such good advice to those who love to give advice...
Here is what A River Worth Riding advises about offering advice:
Offering advice, when advice has not been specifically asked for, creates frustration and animosity between people. The dreaded phrase, “Well, if I were you, I would…” will more likely cause eyes to roll than hearts to open. Remember: You are not me. You do not know everything about me. So you do not need to offer me your advice, unless I ask for that advice, regarding what you would do if you were me. Keep your advice to yourself, and I promise to give you the same courtesy.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
What is your moral compass?
Your compass is your conscience. Your sense of right and wrong. Your ability to make choices, and your ability to live with your choices without making excuses for yourself, or assigning blame.
Nevil Shute, one of the finest novelists of the twentieth century, wrote a book called Round the Bend. In the book, his protagonist recounts a fable about Moses and Mohammed. This fable has haunted me since I first read it at the age of twelve.
The fable begins with Moses and his journey up the mountain, where he is asked by God to have his people pray fifty times a day. This request is quickly seen as unrealistic, what with the golden calf and all, so God relents and simply asks that his people keep the Sabbath holy. A few thousand years later, Mohammed has his own version of that conversation on the mountain, where he is asked by God to have his people pray fifty time a day. As he returns from his journey, Mohammed meets Moses, and after discussing God’s request, Mohammed is convinced by Moses to return to God and ask for an easier burden. Again, God relents, and this time requires that his people only pray five time a day. At this point in the fable, the storyteller turns to his audience and asks, “But what if we did pray fifty times a day? What if every time we completed a task, we simply prayed, ‘Have I done well?’ If we did,” concludes the storyteller, “We could easily fulfill God’s request for fifty prayers each day.”
Well, I tried it. I was twelve years old; I’d just finished reading the story; my mother asked me to clean the kitchen; and I decided to try it. I washed one dish, then I prayed, “Have I done well?” An amazing thing happened. I felt an answer. I clearly knew that I had done well. After washing each dish, I prayed again. Each time I prayed, I knew instantly whether I had done well, or whether I hadn’t. And by the time I finished cleaning that kitchen, it gleamed.
We all have the gift of conscience; we just forget to listen to it.
Nevil Shute, one of the finest novelists of the twentieth century, wrote a book called Round the Bend. In the book, his protagonist recounts a fable about Moses and Mohammed. This fable has haunted me since I first read it at the age of twelve.
The fable begins with Moses and his journey up the mountain, where he is asked by God to have his people pray fifty times a day. This request is quickly seen as unrealistic, what with the golden calf and all, so God relents and simply asks that his people keep the Sabbath holy. A few thousand years later, Mohammed has his own version of that conversation on the mountain, where he is asked by God to have his people pray fifty time a day. As he returns from his journey, Mohammed meets Moses, and after discussing God’s request, Mohammed is convinced by Moses to return to God and ask for an easier burden. Again, God relents, and this time requires that his people only pray five time a day. At this point in the fable, the storyteller turns to his audience and asks, “But what if we did pray fifty times a day? What if every time we completed a task, we simply prayed, ‘Have I done well?’ If we did,” concludes the storyteller, “We could easily fulfill God’s request for fifty prayers each day.”
Well, I tried it. I was twelve years old; I’d just finished reading the story; my mother asked me to clean the kitchen; and I decided to try it. I washed one dish, then I prayed, “Have I done well?” An amazing thing happened. I felt an answer. I clearly knew that I had done well. After washing each dish, I prayed again. Each time I prayed, I knew instantly whether I had done well, or whether I hadn’t. And by the time I finished cleaning that kitchen, it gleamed.
We all have the gift of conscience; we just forget to listen to it.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Action and Control
I have been a proud member of navigating life for little bit over a year now. Let me first start out by writing that I have come to realize that even when I make mistakes, I am human. When I came to understand and accept my mistakes, it made my life a little easier to understand and made me accept the people around me better
As for what I'm working on this week, building a loyal crew and having a solid rudder. I'm slowly learning that you build your life around no one, and criticism should not matter. In my case, my father was my best friend. He was my boss. I worked and saw him at home. You get used to having certain people and circumstances in your life. When he passed, my world was turn up side down with depression. Addictions took over for a long time.
I have realized that no matter how depressed you get, no matter how much you drink, you are never going to bring back anyone you love. Instead, you need to go back to the principles that matter. Principles like the ones my dad taught me.
My dad always said, “Never give up, work hard, go school, and always be of service when you can.†His teachings, and what I have learned through the fourteen rules, have made a tremendous in pact on my life both professionally and personally. The power of focus and goal setting is something that is a must. It truly is amazing when you sit down and you write down your goals. When you take action on your goals on a daily basis, you truly get somewhere. Without an accurate map, you will never known where you want to go on the river.
Tony Perez
As for what I'm working on this week, building a loyal crew and having a solid rudder. I'm slowly learning that you build your life around no one, and criticism should not matter. In my case, my father was my best friend. He was my boss. I worked and saw him at home. You get used to having certain people and circumstances in your life. When he passed, my world was turn up side down with depression. Addictions took over for a long time.
I have realized that no matter how depressed you get, no matter how much you drink, you are never going to bring back anyone you love. Instead, you need to go back to the principles that matter. Principles like the ones my dad taught me.
My dad always said, “Never give up, work hard, go school, and always be of service when you can.†His teachings, and what I have learned through the fourteen rules, have made a tremendous in pact on my life both professionally and personally. The power of focus and goal setting is something that is a must. It truly is amazing when you sit down and you write down your goals. When you take action on your goals on a daily basis, you truly get somewhere. Without an accurate map, you will never known where you want to go on the river.
Tony Perez
What causes a messy kitchen?
Not cleaning up the mess as you go along.
What causes a messy life?
Not facing life’s circumstances as you go along.
Perhaps the most important lesson that parents can teach their children is the connection between picking up after themselves and the quality of their lives. But how many parents actually believe that principle themselves and have made a habit of picking up their own messes? Children learn from what we do, not from what we say.
One study, by the Josephson Institute of Ethics in Marina Del Rey, showed that 72 percent of all high school students surveyed believed that people needed to cheat in order to succeed in life. These students also admitted to cheating on their tests and actually seemed proud of their cheating skills. What caused these students to have such a strange view of success? What caused them to have such a warped view of the river? What caused people to stop valuing integrity and start valuing manipulation? How can we change that cause before it’s too late?
Did you know that when you change what people value, you often change how they behave? And strangely enough, people tend to value what other people admire. People tend to repeat and emulate the actions that bring them admiration, attention, acceptance, or approval. So what does this study suggest that we, as a nation, have been rewarding with our attention, acceptance, approval and admiration?
Have you ever asked your children how they define success, or power? Do you think that they know the difference between respect born from love and respect born from fear? Do you know the difference? Which do you think your children believe is more powerful—fear, or love? Which do you think is more powerful? Why? What caused you to believe what you do?
What causes guilt? Guilt is that feeling you get when you know that you have done something wrong. Guilt, used wisely, can keep you from making the same wrong choice twice. But people can also use your guilt to manipulate you because uncertainty and doubt often accompany guilt. People can use your guilt and your doubts against you whenever you are unclear about who you are, what you value, or why you make the choices that you do.
Above the entrance to the Greek Oracle of Delphi, a stoneworker once carved the words, “know thyself.” These words express the greatest advice ever given to mankind. If you don’t know who you are and what you value, then every action you take will seem doubtful. But when you finally do know yourself—when you do know who you are, when you do know what you value, and when you do know what you were meant to contribute to the river—then you will finally be able to stop defending your life, and you will finally be able to start living it.
What causes a messy life?
Not facing life’s circumstances as you go along.
Perhaps the most important lesson that parents can teach their children is the connection between picking up after themselves and the quality of their lives. But how many parents actually believe that principle themselves and have made a habit of picking up their own messes? Children learn from what we do, not from what we say.
One study, by the Josephson Institute of Ethics in Marina Del Rey, showed that 72 percent of all high school students surveyed believed that people needed to cheat in order to succeed in life. These students also admitted to cheating on their tests and actually seemed proud of their cheating skills. What caused these students to have such a strange view of success? What caused them to have such a warped view of the river? What caused people to stop valuing integrity and start valuing manipulation? How can we change that cause before it’s too late?
Did you know that when you change what people value, you often change how they behave? And strangely enough, people tend to value what other people admire. People tend to repeat and emulate the actions that bring them admiration, attention, acceptance, or approval. So what does this study suggest that we, as a nation, have been rewarding with our attention, acceptance, approval and admiration?
Have you ever asked your children how they define success, or power? Do you think that they know the difference between respect born from love and respect born from fear? Do you know the difference? Which do you think your children believe is more powerful—fear, or love? Which do you think is more powerful? Why? What caused you to believe what you do?
What causes guilt? Guilt is that feeling you get when you know that you have done something wrong. Guilt, used wisely, can keep you from making the same wrong choice twice. But people can also use your guilt to manipulate you because uncertainty and doubt often accompany guilt. People can use your guilt and your doubts against you whenever you are unclear about who you are, what you value, or why you make the choices that you do.
Above the entrance to the Greek Oracle of Delphi, a stoneworker once carved the words, “know thyself.” These words express the greatest advice ever given to mankind. If you don’t know who you are and what you value, then every action you take will seem doubtful. But when you finally do know yourself—when you do know who you are, when you do know what you value, and when you do know what you were meant to contribute to the river—then you will finally be able to stop defending your life, and you will finally be able to start living it.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
A problem is only a problem if you can do something about it. Otherwise it's a fact of life, so you might as well get over it.
The biggest frustrations encountered on the river usually manifest when we attempt to change how people respond to us. We can’t change people into what they’re not. However, the moment we stop trying to change people, we begin finding the energy to change ourselves. And when we begin to change ourselves, we automatically change the circumstances wherein we find ourselves. We waste so much energy focused on the wrong end of problems.
Stop fixing problems. You can’t fix problems. Problems are effects. They are the natural result of something that was done to cause them. Change the cause of a problem, and the problem will take care of itself.
What causes problems? Failure to persuade; failure to communicate; misunderstanding; fear; doubt; blame; unwanted advice; expecting people to change for your reasons; misinterpreting cause and effect; not understanding the rules of the river.
When you learn to fix the cause of a problem, you will fix that problem’s effect.
Of course, there is a catch. This rule only helps you to solve problems if you can determine where your actions contribute to those problems. Any problem that you can’t influence by your actions is not your problem. Any problem that you can’t influence by your actions is a fact of life, so you might as well get over it.
In other words, “Why doesn’t so-and-so love me?” is not your problem. While, “Why am I letting this situation affect me so much?” is your problem.
“Nobody listens to me,” is not your problem. While, “How can I explain this so people will want to listen?” is your problem.
What other people think, say, or do is not your problem. While what you think, say, or do is your problem.
Can you see the difference?
The only way to change something is to change the cause of that something. So if you want to affect the river, you need to keep peeling away at the causes of things until you find a cause for which you’re responsible and then find a way to affect that cause. Only then will your actions be worthwhile.
Stop fixing problems. You can’t fix problems. Problems are effects. They are the natural result of something that was done to cause them. Change the cause of a problem, and the problem will take care of itself.
What causes problems? Failure to persuade; failure to communicate; misunderstanding; fear; doubt; blame; unwanted advice; expecting people to change for your reasons; misinterpreting cause and effect; not understanding the rules of the river.
When you learn to fix the cause of a problem, you will fix that problem’s effect.
Of course, there is a catch. This rule only helps you to solve problems if you can determine where your actions contribute to those problems. Any problem that you can’t influence by your actions is not your problem. Any problem that you can’t influence by your actions is a fact of life, so you might as well get over it.
In other words, “Why doesn’t so-and-so love me?” is not your problem. While, “Why am I letting this situation affect me so much?” is your problem.
“Nobody listens to me,” is not your problem. While, “How can I explain this so people will want to listen?” is your problem.
What other people think, say, or do is not your problem. While what you think, say, or do is your problem.
Can you see the difference?
The only way to change something is to change the cause of that something. So if you want to affect the river, you need to keep peeling away at the causes of things until you find a cause for which you’re responsible and then find a way to affect that cause. Only then will your actions be worthwhile.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Have trouble keeping New Year's resolutions?
If so, then before you embark on any resolutions, be sure they are MASTERed goals.
What are MASTERed goals?
MASTER goal setting is Navigating Life's variation of a technique picked up while attending a time management seminar. This technique is deceptively simple, yet profoundly effective. I urge you to try it as soon as possible.
To create MASTERed goals, you must create goals that are:
Measurable—set an amount and a deadline.
Accountable—make sure that you are personally responsiblefor the outcome.
Specific—make it a specific action.
Timely—give yourself enough time, but not too much time.
Exciting—make it positive; make it something you really want.Goals should never feel like punishments.
Realistic—don’t ask yourself for super-human strength.
Whenever you set goals that are not MASTERed, you set yourself up for failure.
I’m always amazed at how often people set goals like, “I want to lose weight,” “I want to get healthy,” “I need to find a job,” “I need to be more responsible,” “I want to be a better parent,” “I want my boss to respect me,” or “I want to get rich.”
Do they sound familiar?
These goals are immeasurable, unaccountable, vague, rushed, unexciting and unrealistic. So is it any wonder that they don’t help people accomplish anything? If you want goal setting to work for you, you need to learn the art of MASTER goal setting.
Let’s take the goal, “I’m gonna throw out all of my junk,” as an example. That’s a typical goal for a lot of people. Well, throwing out all of your junk is not something you can possibly accomplish. No matter how much you try, junk will always reappear. Throwing out all of your junk is an objective, not a goal. In order to accomplish that objective, you need to set a MASTERed goal. Something like, “I’m gonna toss out ten things every day, until I finally get the clean drawers I want.” Throwing out ten items every day is easily accomplished. It’s measurable, accountable, specific, timely, exciting and realistic. Moreover, performing this MASTER goal daily should eventually help you to gain your objective, which was to clean out your junk.
How about another typical goal; losing thirty pounds? Have you ever gone on a diet with the goal of loosing thirty pounds, done everything right and lost three pounds the first week, only to find that the following week—even though you still did every thing right—you’ve plateaued and lost nothing? If so, you know the frustration of doing everything right and still letting yourself down. Considering your disappointment in yourself, is it any wonder that you drown your sorrows in ice cream?
I’m here to tell you that your problem isn’t you. Your problem is how you define your goals. You have absolutely no control over how you metabolize calories. Your body is going to metabolize whatever it metabolizes. The only thing that you can control is what you put into your mouth and how you spend your time.
In other words, you can’t force your body to lose pounds; however, you can learn to make healthier choices. That being the case, maybe learning to make healthier choices is the goal you need to MASTER. So instead of imposing an overwhelming goal like “losing thirty pounds,” your MASTERed goals might be to “drink a liter of water everyday, take a daily walk, and eat five ounces of fresh produce daily.” I mean, let’s face it, if you drank a liter of water, took a walk and ate five helpings of fresh produce everyday, you would be healthier. Moreover, your success would not depend upon your ability to metabolize calories.
The point that I’m trying to make is that unless you create goals that you can actually accomplish every time, you are only going to disappoint yourself eventually. MASTERed goals are always possible. MASTERed goals allow you to progressively realize your objectives. For every objective that you have, you should create a matching MASTERed goal.The table linked here provides a list of common objectives along side their corresponding MASTERed goals. It should help demonstrate what I mean. As you look at the table, please notice that MASTERed goals are achievable. They may not achieve their objective each time, but at least you can keep the goal. At least you can keep the promise that you made to yourself.
If your strategy fails to work, then you can always change your strategy. But unless you develop the habit of setting MASTERed goals, you will not ever achieve your goals. So learn to keep your goals measurable, accountable, specific, timely, exciting and realistic; or don’t set goals at all. Nothing destroys your self-esteem faster than breaking a promise to yourself, and that is exactly what you do every time you fail to meet a goal.
What are MASTERed goals?
MASTER goal setting is Navigating Life's variation of a technique picked up while attending a time management seminar. This technique is deceptively simple, yet profoundly effective. I urge you to try it as soon as possible.
To create MASTERed goals, you must create goals that are:
Measurable—set an amount and a deadline.
Accountable—make sure that you are personally responsiblefor the outcome.
Specific—make it a specific action.
Timely—give yourself enough time, but not too much time.
Exciting—make it positive; make it something you really want.Goals should never feel like punishments.
Realistic—don’t ask yourself for super-human strength.
Whenever you set goals that are not MASTERed, you set yourself up for failure.
I’m always amazed at how often people set goals like, “I want to lose weight,” “I want to get healthy,” “I need to find a job,” “I need to be more responsible,” “I want to be a better parent,” “I want my boss to respect me,” or “I want to get rich.”
Do they sound familiar?
These goals are immeasurable, unaccountable, vague, rushed, unexciting and unrealistic. So is it any wonder that they don’t help people accomplish anything? If you want goal setting to work for you, you need to learn the art of MASTER goal setting.
Let’s take the goal, “I’m gonna throw out all of my junk,” as an example. That’s a typical goal for a lot of people. Well, throwing out all of your junk is not something you can possibly accomplish. No matter how much you try, junk will always reappear. Throwing out all of your junk is an objective, not a goal. In order to accomplish that objective, you need to set a MASTERed goal. Something like, “I’m gonna toss out ten things every day, until I finally get the clean drawers I want.” Throwing out ten items every day is easily accomplished. It’s measurable, accountable, specific, timely, exciting and realistic. Moreover, performing this MASTER goal daily should eventually help you to gain your objective, which was to clean out your junk.
How about another typical goal; losing thirty pounds? Have you ever gone on a diet with the goal of loosing thirty pounds, done everything right and lost three pounds the first week, only to find that the following week—even though you still did every thing right—you’ve plateaued and lost nothing? If so, you know the frustration of doing everything right and still letting yourself down. Considering your disappointment in yourself, is it any wonder that you drown your sorrows in ice cream?
I’m here to tell you that your problem isn’t you. Your problem is how you define your goals. You have absolutely no control over how you metabolize calories. Your body is going to metabolize whatever it metabolizes. The only thing that you can control is what you put into your mouth and how you spend your time.
In other words, you can’t force your body to lose pounds; however, you can learn to make healthier choices. That being the case, maybe learning to make healthier choices is the goal you need to MASTER. So instead of imposing an overwhelming goal like “losing thirty pounds,” your MASTERed goals might be to “drink a liter of water everyday, take a daily walk, and eat five ounces of fresh produce daily.” I mean, let’s face it, if you drank a liter of water, took a walk and ate five helpings of fresh produce everyday, you would be healthier. Moreover, your success would not depend upon your ability to metabolize calories.
The point that I’m trying to make is that unless you create goals that you can actually accomplish every time, you are only going to disappoint yourself eventually. MASTERed goals are always possible. MASTERed goals allow you to progressively realize your objectives. For every objective that you have, you should create a matching MASTERed goal.The table linked here provides a list of common objectives along side their corresponding MASTERed goals. It should help demonstrate what I mean. As you look at the table, please notice that MASTERed goals are achievable. They may not achieve their objective each time, but at least you can keep the goal. At least you can keep the promise that you made to yourself.
If your strategy fails to work, then you can always change your strategy. But unless you develop the habit of setting MASTERed goals, you will not ever achieve your goals. So learn to keep your goals measurable, accountable, specific, timely, exciting and realistic; or don’t set goals at all. Nothing destroys your self-esteem faster than breaking a promise to yourself, and that is exactly what you do every time you fail to meet a goal.
Friends
These are just thoughts. Last night I had one of the best times ever with one of my dearest friends who I got to know while going to school in New York. We laughed all night. Non stop. It was one the of best feelings I had in a long time. Living in LA now, for, going on eight months now, its been quit lonely. Its really been a life test for me out here; people that I thought i knew, people that I thought I could count on; not being there. I was really happy to know that last night, i could look at my wonderful dear friend Amanda and know that we'll stay friends no matter how often we see each other, how far apart we are, its made me happy to know that shes a "lifer" a lifetime friend that i know i can count on because i now know in LA there isn't alot of that here. But i guess its all apart of growing, everyone here in LA pretty much thinks about themselves, so when they say they are doing you a favor they really aren't, when your willing to be helpful, they'll take advantage of you. But i just have to keep my wits about me, not dwell on the sad negative side of things, and just know that there is good out there and people i can still trust, and I know that I am the only one i can truely depend on...
again, these are just thoughts.
again, these are just thoughts.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
What is love?
What's love.
A friend's son is thinking about getting married and asked me how you can tell if you’re in love.
The flip answer is listen to your heart, but that's not much help because your heart doesn't know the difference between infatuation and love. I don't believe in love at first sight. True, that electric spark between two people can put a spark in love. It can help you know a person is one you want to be with, but good love grows over time.
Love is learned as you get to know and become committed to a person. Love is not sex, but sex without love is simply a physical exercise. Sex with love can be glorious. Love means you're willing to commit your life to the other person. You want to be with the person and care for that person. It means you're willing to sacrifice your life, if it becomes necessary.
Love is about relationships.
Its commitment
its respect
its trust
it is the desire to help your partner be the best they can be.
That is why infidelity is so devastating. It destroys trust and respect and it puts your partner at risk of disease. Violence has no place in a marriage. If you mate tries to dominate you, either mentally or physically, it is time to take you boat and plot a new course.
Respect is the basis for any positive relationship. When there is mutual respect in a relationship there is room for a couple to grow together and for them to each grow as individuals.
On the river of life, if you choose to join your boat to another, two boats can expand you horizons and be more stable in a storm. When you pull up for the night, making camp together can be easier and more fun. But, ultimately, you are responsible for your own boat and for choosing your own safe course through a rapid.
A friend's son is thinking about getting married and asked me how you can tell if you’re in love.
The flip answer is listen to your heart, but that's not much help because your heart doesn't know the difference between infatuation and love. I don't believe in love at first sight. True, that electric spark between two people can put a spark in love. It can help you know a person is one you want to be with, but good love grows over time.
Love is learned as you get to know and become committed to a person. Love is not sex, but sex without love is simply a physical exercise. Sex with love can be glorious. Love means you're willing to commit your life to the other person. You want to be with the person and care for that person. It means you're willing to sacrifice your life, if it becomes necessary.
Love is about relationships.
Its commitment
its respect
its trust
it is the desire to help your partner be the best they can be.
That is why infidelity is so devastating. It destroys trust and respect and it puts your partner at risk of disease. Violence has no place in a marriage. If you mate tries to dominate you, either mentally or physically, it is time to take you boat and plot a new course.
Respect is the basis for any positive relationship. When there is mutual respect in a relationship there is room for a couple to grow together and for them to each grow as individuals.
On the river of life, if you choose to join your boat to another, two boats can expand you horizons and be more stable in a storm. When you pull up for the night, making camp together can be easier and more fun. But, ultimately, you are responsible for your own boat and for choosing your own safe course through a rapid.
Tony, I am posting you a reminder of this week's assignment...
You need a solid achor
Your anchor is what you value. Even more, your anchor is the value that you place upon yourself. It affects your ability to make difficult decisions and to like yourself even when others express disapproval. It allows you to stand-up for what you believe, despite others believing differently.
Too often, we anchor ourselves to people, or circumstances. The result is usually chaos.
Consider what happens when people anchor themselves to their mates. Let’s say, for example, that you’ve just met someone who stimulates your mind and makes you feel alive in ways you haven’t felt in years, so you decide to anchor your lives together. You begin to see yourself as part of a team. You make every decision together. Everything goes swimmingly, until your rudder gets caught in their anchor. Suddenly, your decisions collide. Your perspectives alter. Your likelihood of success is based upon the whims of someone else. If the person to whom you’re anchored can’t move, you can’t move. When they go down, you go down.
And what happens if that person isn’t there any more? What happens to you if you’ve attached yourself to someone who abruptly disappears? Suddenly, you’re cast adrift on a river totally unfamiliar to you. Your fear-mechanisms may kick in. You may get depressed. You may want to drink, or eat your way back into comfort. You may even get involved with the first person you meet because you can’t stand riding the river alone.
Without a solid anchor, you drift about on circumstance. Without a solid anchor, you have no way to weather squalls. If you want your boat to outlast tempests, you need an anchor that won’t change from day to day. People do not make the best anchors because it is the nature of people to change. Circumstances do not make the best anchors because it is the nature of circumstances to alter.
So what does stand firm even in the most violent weather? What does hold fast no matter what life tosses towards you?
Ideals are the only things on the river that don’t change. Ideals make excellent anchors.
Think about the ideal of fairness. Did you ever say, “That’s not fair,” when you were young? Whenever I pose this question in class, nearly everyone raises their hand. Every child seems to understand the difference between fair and unfair, and they seem to expect fairness—until some adult tells them that life isn’t fair and they learn to believe it.
The curious thing is that we all know fairness when we see. The ideal of fairness is a constant that never changes. So if you were to steer your life towards fairness, you would always know which way to steer. If you were to anchor your life on fairness, you might actually begin to find fair. You could also anchor yourself to integrity, truth, dignity, justice, service, quality, excellence, kindness, joy, humility, compassion, or any ideal you choose.
Your ideals do not move with circumstance. No matter what the tempests around you conceal, truth is truth, and you’ll always know truth when you see it. Truth is a good place to set your anchor. Truth is a good way to steer your course. You may not always experience these ideals with others, but you will know each ideal when you see it, and you will know which way to steer. You will know when you have not lived up to your ideal. You will know when you have let yourself down.
Discover the ideals for which you stand—in the same way that America stands for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Integrate your ideals into your purpose and your choices, so that the next time the river tosses you into a whirlpool, you’ll be able to make your decisions based upon something you value. You’ll be secure in knowing that you’ve chosen the best possible response to your current circumstances.
When you base your choices upon the ideals you value, you begin to trust your choices and to find the strength to follow through on your actions. You begin to act decisively because you’re decisions aren’t affected by what other people say, think, or do. They’re based on a solid anchor, rather than on some opinion of the moment.
Your anchor is what you value. Even more, your anchor is the value that you place upon yourself. It affects your ability to make difficult decisions and to like yourself even when others express disapproval. It allows you to stand-up for what you believe, despite others believing differently.
Too often, we anchor ourselves to people, or circumstances. The result is usually chaos.
Consider what happens when people anchor themselves to their mates. Let’s say, for example, that you’ve just met someone who stimulates your mind and makes you feel alive in ways you haven’t felt in years, so you decide to anchor your lives together. You begin to see yourself as part of a team. You make every decision together. Everything goes swimmingly, until your rudder gets caught in their anchor. Suddenly, your decisions collide. Your perspectives alter. Your likelihood of success is based upon the whims of someone else. If the person to whom you’re anchored can’t move, you can’t move. When they go down, you go down.
And what happens if that person isn’t there any more? What happens to you if you’ve attached yourself to someone who abruptly disappears? Suddenly, you’re cast adrift on a river totally unfamiliar to you. Your fear-mechanisms may kick in. You may get depressed. You may want to drink, or eat your way back into comfort. You may even get involved with the first person you meet because you can’t stand riding the river alone.
Without a solid anchor, you drift about on circumstance. Without a solid anchor, you have no way to weather squalls. If you want your boat to outlast tempests, you need an anchor that won’t change from day to day. People do not make the best anchors because it is the nature of people to change. Circumstances do not make the best anchors because it is the nature of circumstances to alter.
So what does stand firm even in the most violent weather? What does hold fast no matter what life tosses towards you?
Ideals are the only things on the river that don’t change. Ideals make excellent anchors.
Think about the ideal of fairness. Did you ever say, “That’s not fair,” when you were young? Whenever I pose this question in class, nearly everyone raises their hand. Every child seems to understand the difference between fair and unfair, and they seem to expect fairness—until some adult tells them that life isn’t fair and they learn to believe it.
The curious thing is that we all know fairness when we see. The ideal of fairness is a constant that never changes. So if you were to steer your life towards fairness, you would always know which way to steer. If you were to anchor your life on fairness, you might actually begin to find fair. You could also anchor yourself to integrity, truth, dignity, justice, service, quality, excellence, kindness, joy, humility, compassion, or any ideal you choose.
Your ideals do not move with circumstance. No matter what the tempests around you conceal, truth is truth, and you’ll always know truth when you see it. Truth is a good place to set your anchor. Truth is a good way to steer your course. You may not always experience these ideals with others, but you will know each ideal when you see it, and you will know which way to steer. You will know when you have not lived up to your ideal. You will know when you have let yourself down.
Discover the ideals for which you stand—in the same way that America stands for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Integrate your ideals into your purpose and your choices, so that the next time the river tosses you into a whirlpool, you’ll be able to make your decisions based upon something you value. You’ll be secure in knowing that you’ve chosen the best possible response to your current circumstances.
When you base your choices upon the ideals you value, you begin to trust your choices and to find the strength to follow through on your actions. You begin to act decisively because you’re decisions aren’t affected by what other people say, think, or do. They’re based on a solid anchor, rather than on some opinion of the moment.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
You can have easy, or you can have worthwhile; but you can't have both.
Which do you prefer: cheap bargains, or fair wages? Pick one because you can’t have both.
Which do you prefer: being healthy, or eating whatever like? Again, you can’t have both.
Which do you prefer: no taxes, or a government that takes care of you? That’s right, you can’t have both.
People find it easy to decide between a good thing and a bad thing. For example, would you prefer that I give you my money, or that I take your money? Whenever I ask this question in class, everyone opts for getting my money. After all, it’s an easy choice.
But how about deciding between two good things, or two bad things?
Do you want me to be nice, or do you want me to be honest? Do you want to fight with me, or do you want me to beat you up? Do you want me to be true to our friendship, or do you want me to be true to myself? Do you want to have an easy life, or do you want to have a worthwhile life?
Questions like these are difficult to answer. We often try to get both, or neither, and we end up getting a mess.
In order to make life’s hardest decisions, you must know what you value. Unless you determine your priorities, your decisions will be as uncertain as your mind, and no decision equals no action.
So which do you prefer: easy or worthwhile? You can’t have both.
Which do you prefer: being healthy, or eating whatever like? Again, you can’t have both.
Which do you prefer: no taxes, or a government that takes care of you? That’s right, you can’t have both.
People find it easy to decide between a good thing and a bad thing. For example, would you prefer that I give you my money, or that I take your money? Whenever I ask this question in class, everyone opts for getting my money. After all, it’s an easy choice.
But how about deciding between two good things, or two bad things?
Do you want me to be nice, or do you want me to be honest? Do you want to fight with me, or do you want me to beat you up? Do you want me to be true to our friendship, or do you want me to be true to myself? Do you want to have an easy life, or do you want to have a worthwhile life?
Questions like these are difficult to answer. We often try to get both, or neither, and we end up getting a mess.
In order to make life’s hardest decisions, you must know what you value. Unless you determine your priorities, your decisions will be as uncertain as your mind, and no decision equals no action.
So which do you prefer: easy or worthwhile? You can’t have both.
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